Always Looking Up

“Why the long face?”, I asked the guest walking into the fitness facility who was looking down and who also appeared distraught.


To this, the guest sighed and replied, “Well… I had to work today (…pause… looking at me as if this explains everything…), THEN I realized I forgot my sneakers and had to go ALL the way home (…another pause… waiting for the world to pause in astonishment and pity…), THEN when I went home to get my sneakers I got talked into picking up my daughter from her tennis lesson (…pause… the Earth shatters into a million pieces…), THEN after I picked her up I had to go ALL the way BACK home to drop her off before coming to the gym (…one last pause… waiting for my reaction…).”



Throughout the duration of this conversation, I couldn’t help but NOT feel pity or sympathy for this person after being informed of the ‘misfortunes’ they had experienced. Now, before you question where this is going and ask “Why?” I felt this way; I want to share with you another event that happened on the same exact day…


I was just leaving the gym and I noticed in passing a middle-aged man sitting on the lat-pulldown machine who smiled and waved at me in my hurried frenzy to leave and get going with the rest of my day. Being in ‘the zone’, I almost didn’t see him, but had managed to look up just in time after turning off my IPOD. I stopped mid-stride, waved back, and walked over to greet him.

“Hi! How are you?”, I asked as I reached my hand out to shake his.

As I got closer and right before he answered, I realized this man was wheelchair-bound and disabled (and very likely completely paralyzed) from the waist down.


“I am doing just wonderful, my dear,” he exclaimed, “as it is always a great day when you wake up and realize you are alive!”


Right at this moment I thought to myself, ‘Why is it that the consensus I am being exposed to appears to be that the people who have the most to be grateful for are the ones who always have their chins down, while so many of the most inspirational people I meet are in dispositions that not many people could endure?’.


Now, I’m not stereotyping everyone as I have seen first-hand the exact opposite scenario happen as well. I guess just having gone through one extreme to the next within such a short time-frame with two totally different people in two entirely different ‘predicaments’, it had caused my cranium to consider this thought and to think about how often we all come in contact with similar situations on a daily basis.


Think back on the last occasion where you made acquaintances with numerous people in one day or at one time, and think about the responses you received from each person you introduced yourself to or reacquainted yourself with. What were the most common responses to your acknowledgement and how did the energy of each person affect you, personally?


In my own experiences, I have found that addressing individuals with a pessimistic outlook tend to subconsciously rub off to a certain degree. You might not be in a bad mood, necessarily, after talking with this person, but negativity can definitely try pretty hard to chip away at positive energy. The same can be said in communicating with a person who appears to be on top of the world. Contact with them is generally infectious as well and they are able to influence optimism to those around them. I can tell you right now, that the day I came in contact with those two individuals, I experienced this phenomenon to the fullest. Not to say the individual expressing their ‘problems’ at work brought me down, but I did find myself thinking negative thoughts about why he isn’t grateful for all he DOES have. Especially after meeting such a delightful man that same day who (in my opinion) had way more reasons to frown then most people I know, yet he was wearing the biggest smile I had seen all day… and he had given me one as well. Imagine that! We can actually induce others with feelings that reflect our emotions just simply by giving a negative response through our body language and responses to others. Powerful thought, huh?


While sitting and having a fantastic meeting with a great friend (who just also happens to be an amazing professional in the healthcare industry), Lifan Hung, she brought up an awesome ‘exercise’ that we should all think about trying. For the sake of this article, I am going to call it ‘Always Looking Up’…


For an ENTIRE day… I dare you to greet EVERY single person you come in contact by saying something positive. Even if your whole day has been based around mishaps and calamity and you feel so stressed that you can hardly contain yourself, and regardless of how the person on the other end responds… Just breathe… smile… and say something infectiously positive to each person you see for that day. I can absolutely guarantee you that not only will you make another person’s day more worthwhile, but you will also create and embellish a strong, empowering, and positive affirmation within yourself as well. Just try it. Just for a day and be cognizant of how you feel and how others you interact with react to your optimism. It might just be so infectious that you decide to use it everyday!


Just as well, when I was around ages 15-16, I can remember a time when I was headed into a convenience store. Walking to the door, I heard footsteps behind me, so I opened the doors in front of me, turned, and held them open for the individual who was a few steps behind me. Surprised, the man stopped for a moment, hesitated, and said, “Oh!... Well… thanks!”. He then continued forward and into the store. Following behind, I grabbed what I was looking for and (ironically) was now standing behind the same man I had held the door for in line. After he checked out and left, I checked out myself and headed to the door where it was opened from the outside. Caught off guard and putting my spare change in my purse, it was my turn to pause at this unexpected gesture.


Walking through the doors and looking up, I saw the familiar face of a man returning a favor peer out and as I treaded forward, he kindly said, “I wanted to ‘thank-you’ for your kindness earlier.”


“Why is that?”, I asked, confused.


To which he said, “I have been really down lately… and I mean REALLY down. And no one has given me the time of day. I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” he said under his breath, “but today it got to the point where I wanted to end my life. Thank you for helping me remember how good it feels to smile.”


Speechless, I said, “You’re welcome.”, and with a tip of his hat he walked away… with his chin held high.


To say this event didn’t change my life would be an absolute lie. I never really told anyone about this incident as it just didn’t feel appropriate until now. After that moment and to this day, I take careful prominence in making sure to say ‘Hello’ to (most) anyone I encounter and to be as friendly as possible to the people around me. You just never know what your actions might mean to someone. Each person has a unique story and each person, as an individual, is dealing with specific problems, issues and stresses that affect each person to a different degree. Never judge a book by its cover and never underestimate or take for granted the power of spoken word. You have no idea what each person you encounter on a daily basis is going through behind closed doors, and what a kind comment or acknowledgement might do to make someone’s day better… or their life.


I dare you, Faithful Reader, to set all worries, stresses, ‘problems’ and issues aside and devote an entire day to optimism. The more you speak of positivity, the more you will act on it and the more you will infect those around you with the same kindness you exert yourself. Don’t be one of those people who allows a leaky faucet ruin their day. Instead, look at the things that you are grateful for. Stop and smell the roses and notice the little things in life that bring a smile to your face. Learn that the glass is always full… but only if we let it be. Remember that ‘perception is reality’ and that by changing your thoughts, you can change all that surrounds you.


And lastly, oh lastly, don’t ever wait for perfection, but praise and commend progress. By appreciating the small steps leading to the big result, you can gain a better appreciation and understanding of yourself and your life in a way that someone being handed something will never be able to identify with. By changing your thoughts, you can change your life… or someone else’s.


Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” -Bob Hope


“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” -Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Plato


“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -Leo Buscaglia


“To give and then not feel that one has given is the very best of all ways of giving.” -Max Beerbohm