Mirror, Mirror On the Wall...

“What is your favorite thing about yourself?”… Belief instills I am correct in assuming I caught you off-guard with that question. Why is it that we spend all day helping other people recognize the greatness within themselves (as health care providers), yet we rarely take the time to ask ourselves personally this same question?


While I was in school, I was really into an exercise psychology book that presented endless ways on how to appropriately approach clients and athletes on a mental level to help them achieve an optimal mindset for performance as well as everyday life. Within the pages of the book, there were numerous sample questionnaires to be filled out by the applicant that could help the trainer, coach, etc… get a better idea of where this person stands on a mental level. Curious, I decided it would be in my own best interest to take the questionnaires as it was part of my studies and something I should experience myself before ever implementing (not to mention I was kind of curious as well…). One of the questions I came across was the question, “What is your favorite thing about yourself?”. To my own surprise, I found myself stopped in my tracks as I actually had to think of what the answer might be! “Well,” I thought, “I guess I kind of like my eyelashes, but as my favorite?... And then I sort of like my skin tone and complexion, but not with all these summer tan lines and that one zit that won’t seem to go away… but WAIT… Do I maybe have a decent physique?... Maybe, but I’m not where I’d like to be.” Sigh…. Why was this so difficult?


Weirdly enough (and I’m sure you have heard it all before), we are our own worst critics. Because we get to spend 24 hours a day with and in our bodies, we get to know every single ‘flaw’, every single ‘imperfection’, and every single thing that could be made better ‘If only…”. We are competitive by human nature and evolution created us to aspire to be a better mate than the person standing next to us. The truly ironic part is that no matter how much we want to be the person standing next to us or on that magazine cover, this opportunity will never arise. We will never be somebody else and we should never want to. Each person has their own individual characteristics of which makes them stand out and special. Each person has their own quirks, their own room for improvements. If we were all the same or if we all spent our lives trying to be someone else, we would never truly be recognized for our own unique qualities, talents, personalities and looks.


One of my best friends and my co-worker, Kristina Lindquist, made a comment one day at our Health Profile Institute Certification Course that really resonated with me deeply and I never forgot it. She expressed that one of the first things she asks a new client isn’t “What are you trying to improve?”, or “What is it you are unhappy with?”, but she asks the question of, “What do you love most about yourself?”. I found this interesting and could completely resound with why this question could possibly be extremely meaningful in a first exchange with a new client. Think about it; We already spend so much time critiquing and criticizing ourselves for our flaws, for our blemishes, for all the things that make us unique. Rarely does a person spend time relishing the things that they love or picking out the certain characteristics about themselves that are positive attributes. As a trainer myself, I found this deeply regarding as personal training in general is based on self-improvement and in really channeling into the things the client wants and needs to improve mentally, physically, emotionally and (sometimes) spiritually. Oftentimes, we face extreme circumstances of clients who are physically disabled, overweight, mentally broken down and/or stressed, on loads of medication, diseased, and just overall not where they want to be physically and/or mentally. If they were completely satisfied with themselves, they wouldn’t be seeking US for help. With that said, we already can assume there are things the client is unhappy with. Of course, you want to find this out as well as it is exactly what you need to know to design your program for them and how to work around their problem areas, however, think about how beneficial it would ALSO be to know what the client liked about him/herself. You would always have that positive feedback to revert back to and embellish upon with and for the client, and by getting them to admit something they are happy about, they can learn to recognize and be proud of their positive attributes and the things that make them special and really start getting acclimated to positive reinforcement. Understand again: Your clients aren’t coming to you because they are satisfied. They want and need you to help them make the life changes that they aren’t happy about and that they feel need improvement. They don’t call it ‘Personal’ Training for nothing. The journey our clients are on can be tremendously overwhelming and emotional, and when we work for hours each week with the people who seek our expertise, we need to help them embrace both the good and the bad. We need to encourage them and let them know they are special. We need to point out both the bad AND the good and help them to see the glass as half full so they can keep pressing forward no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. We need to motivate and coach them through the execution of their entire session, and we need to believe in them and get them to believe in themselves. You are their inspiration!


I see it all the time in those ‘trainers’ who have no business being in this type of industry. They neglect the mental component and aspect of training. Fitness, health and wellness is a universal, personal and emotional thing for all of us, and it is something that everyone in the world can relate to regardless of race, age, gender, religion, etc. Try this on for size… What is the one and only event held in the world where the entire GLOBAL POPULATION gets together to participate in and watch as ONE? The Olympics! Coincidence? I think not. It is the sole event where the entire world can forget about war, prejudism, terrorism, etc., and just be together. Pretty remarkable, huh? Let’s not take this for granted when we are training clients, and let’s realize they are on a remarkable journey themselves and that that journey is and is going to be emotional, life-changing, and unforgettable. And YOU are the one who they have chosen to be by their side throughout the duration of this journey. To help them to see themselves in a positive light and enforce and encourage them to believe in themselves.

So, let’s work on this together. I challenge you, Faithful Reader, to open up a notebook and list everything you love about yourself. And do this with all things aside. This is your own journey and self discovery and we also need some positive reinforcement once and a while to keep us going. Don’t be surprised by your modesty and embrace what it is that makes you special as an individual. Be able to look in the mirror each day and love the things that make you who you are. Feel and become familiar with your own emotions and keep them close with you during each session. Create the example you wish for others to follow.


Reverting back to that fateful day in school… Taking a deep breath, I hesitated as the tip of my pencil hovered over the spaces where my words were supposed to be encrypted. I thought to myself, “You know what, Emma? How is your confidence going to be convincing to those around you if you aren’t even convinced yourself?” So, right then and there, I didn’t just write the one thing I loved most, but I threw in the towel and created a whole LIST. As I wrote, I realized that even my ‘imperfections’ gave me character. The scar on my left knee cap that never went away after I fell off my bike in kindergarten… Hey! I completely forgot about that story! I realized that even the things I considered to be ‘flawed’, were actually reminders of things that made me who I am today, and they also prompted me to remember that I am still on a journey just like the people I train. Although our journeys may have different goals and stories behind them, we are all still together in the journey toward self-improvement (Whatever that may entail for each person on an individual basis).


Embracing what we love is just as, if not more, important than stating and recognizing what we don’t. On our journey to help others bask in this light, keep the list you created close to your heart and refer to it during each of the hours you dedicate to helping another person. The environment you work in and live is a direct reflection of your own attitude and expectations… Let the mirror do all the talking for you.



Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly distorts and discolors the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it.” –Francis Bacon, Sr


“It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.” -Author Unknown


“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.” -Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


“I've spent most of my life walking under that hovering cloud, jealousy, whose acid raindrops blurred my vision and burned holes in my heart. Once I learned to use the umbrella of confidence, the skies cleared up for me and the sunshine called joy became my faithful companion.” -Astrid Alauda

Acting On a New 'Idea'

Reading my Mapquest directions, I drove out of The Ridges in gorgeous Summerlin after leaving work early prepared to locate yet another facility around town, down a road less travelled. Each and every day we are all struck with opportunities, crossroads, and forks in the road that divert our attention to doors that are either just cracked or fully open. It is up to us, and us alone, to not fear walking through these doors to see what may lie on the other side.


I find that the drive to each Connect To Fitness Event is a time in which reflection and reminiscence take over the moment. I typically don’t listen to music on my way (which is REALLY rare), and I just let my mind wander as I sit back with the Las Vegas air streaming through my hair, sunshine on my skin and really just take some time to recap how I got from Point A to Point B. It never ceases to amaze me what a little careful planning without searching can do.


Have you ever went to tell someone something important only to completely forget until later what the heck you were going to say when all is said and done? Or have you ever walked into a room with the intention to get or do something, and the intention itself escapes you until you leave the room and are on your way once again? Well… Life isn’t much different in this regard. Throughout life, I always felt an insatiable need for something I was constantly searching for. High and low, it seemed that the only doors I allowed myself to see were the ones I physically opened myself. There was always a missing link to the puzzle that seemed to escape me no matter how much time I spent looking for it. Whether it was relationships, which path to take for my future, or how to get from one point to the next, the answer just never seemed to be anywhere I looked!


As I drove out of the luxurious Ridges in Summerlin after an awesome day of work at Club Ridges, I hopped on the highway and ventured to my own unexpected reality of a dream come true with Connect To Fitness. I thought back to the day shortly after I had moved out here when Darian sat me down and talked to me about this ‘idea’ he had called Connect To Fitness and about the involvement he envisioned me having. At the time, I was star-struck to begin with as the ‘idea’ really wasn’t anything I had ever heard of prior to that conversation, and I just felt so faithful about the bottom line of the mission and with my position in the organization. I never in my wildest dreams would have guessed just HOW involved I would be in this awesome idea.


As I came to, I realized that I was almost to The Hara Center (http://useyourhara.com/), where our event was being held. Holding my hand-written directions (I admit to not having a printer…), I pulled up into the parking lot and noticed that most of the businesses in the same building were closed, yet the parking lot was reasonably full with vehicles. I got out and saw I had arrived at the same time as Troy Meier, my Fitness Director at Dragon Ridge Tennis and Athletic Center, and I greeted him as we walked toward the same destination. Just as we began walking in the wrong direction, out comes Darian from the doors of Hara’s to lead us in the right direction with his always enthusiastic and welcoming salutations. So, to the doors of Hara’s we went!


On my way to the door, I realized the irony as I got closer as the door was standing wide open awaiting a new and unexpected adventure. All I had to do was simply walk through it. As I entered inside, I was welcomed this time by Darian’s amazing wife, Michelle, who was handing out all the creative handouts the staff at Hara’s put together including a ‘favorite recipe’ card, a health quiz to complete and hand in for raffle tickets (and extra shots at our prize give-away!) as well as some information on Hara’s class schedules, pricing, and an entire itinerary for the event (not to mention the awesome bright orange ‘Hara’ pen that everyone received to fill out the paperwork!). As I thanked Michelle, I peeled my eyes away from the pen (it was a pretty cool pen!), and looked up. To my surprise (sort of) and astonishment (again… sort of), the room was already filled with people and there was already conversations and networking happening throughout the room. The packed parking lot was definitely due to this event! Not only that, but there was actually a line waiting to sign into the event. It was definitely something to smile about.


When you first walk into the Hara Center, you are immediately greeted to the left by the awesome front desk staff are just so kind, friendly and approachable. Over to the right, you can purchase any number of workout clothes and activewear to feed your frenzy, and for the event, any attendees received 25% off their entire purchase! Moving to the back of the room, you notice how awesome the ambiance is created to suit the studio through the use of color with tans, oranges, deep reds and a touch of yellow. As you cross through the rest of the room showcasing their activewear, you can be sure that your eyes will not be bored with your surroundings. Towards the back of the room, you could find the cooler set up by Charles Ware of PFI loaded with both bottled water and Vitamin Water, and on the far left was an entire table set up loaded with food. From ground turkey burgers, lettuce, tomato and whole wheat pitas, to healthy chips and pita chips with hummus dip, there was something for everyone (and it was all incredible!).


Moving into the room in the back, this same ambiance is carried to create a really zen-like atmosphere and you immediately notice the large mirrors and the bars attached to the ceiling to help assist the massage therapists with their Ashiatsu Oriental Bar Therapy Massages. Ashiatsu is a really neat alternative to traditional massage therapy as the bars are held by the therapist’s hands throughout the duration of the massage, and the therapist actually use their feet as hands to provide a deeper, less painful and more beneficial massage overall. The bars are used for balance and gravitational assistance, which is pretty impressive! Their bodywork menu also includes foot massages, Swedish, Sports, Injury, Deep Tissue, Myofascial Release, and Prenatal as well as Ashi-Thai massages. You don’t want to miss out on their treatments, and if you need a great reference or testimonial from a trustworthy individual, look no further than Dr. Darian Parker, who went back to Hara’s with his wife the following day to receive a treatment.


The gift of Hara’s doesn’t stop giving either. You can take any number of their innovative group exercise fitness and/or dance classes, (listen to this, personal trainers…) you can rent out their studio with clients for only $25.00/hour, and you can purchase a membership to Hara’s where you will receive generous and discounted benefits and perks to make your experience even more grandiose each time you visit.


For the sake of the event, we were fortunate enough to have Arthur Hsu and Haley Hollander at the event presenting live demos of and with their TRX Suspension Training Systems, which they conveniently hung on the massage bars on the ceiling. If you aren’t familiar with the TRX System (once again: to all you health and fitness gurus!), it is definitely something to become familiar with as they are becoming more prevalent in the industry and it is a ‘trend’ that looks like it’s going to be around for a long time to come. Arthur demonstrated a full-body workout and had the attention of everyone in at the event. After the demo, he was able to work one-on-one with many of the guests who expressed specific interest in this innovative training style.


After the TRX demo, Darian and I announced the winners of the first prize giveaway (which is always one of our favorite parts of the events), and, as always, we had some amazing prizes donated from some of our fantastic sponsors. We had some amazing prizes ranging from a Travel Trainer from Scott Lenz at AFP, a couple Professional Fitness Institute backpacks stuffed to the max as usual from Charles Ware and the PFI staff, free personal training from Tracy at Studio 222, and many more.



As I wandered around after the prize giveaway, mingling with familiar and new faces, I once again let my mind just take in the moment and I felt so proud to be a part of this amazing journey. To think this all started as an ‘idea’! I thought about how much more fulfilling the lives of others would be if they were to just walk through these ‘doors’ that approach them everyday. Think to yourself once again about a time (and everyone has had at least one of these times) when you see someone else ‘commercializing’ on an idea that you ‘came up with’. Have you ever watched an infomercial, or read a magazine and saw that someone else ‘stole’ an idea you came up with years ago? Well, you can’t take credit for this endeavor as you weren’t the one who took the opportunity to make it a reality. For those of us who put those ideas in the backs of our minds, we can’t claim it as our own as we weren’t the ones who walked through that door that was wide open. Rather, we sat back until someone else walked through the door first. This is a common venture that happens to people everyday, and the more people I meet and the older I get, I realize how rare these people are who are willing to step through a door without someone else entering first. I am proud to say that Darian Parker is one of these rare exceptions and he is able to see his dreams and goals stretch so distant in the future that it’s actually difficult sometimes to fathom his ‘ideas’. He leads by a great example, and (as the numbers from the events show) more and more people are catching on and walking through those same doors themselves to take that risk of being a part of something monumental. With him, there is no such thing as an ‘idea’. It is all a reality that is going to happen, and it is an example that we should all follow in our own lives so life doesn’t pass us by and leave us with closed doors.


As I made my way around the room, gabbing and snapping photos, the next demonstration was scheduled to begin before I even realized it. Three women from MOKSHA and Bikram Yoga by Biram Yoga SW (located right in the same building!) came in to demonstrate a snip-it of what you could expect to get if you were to attend one of their Bikram yoga classes. If you aren’t familiar with Bikram, it’s yoga in extreme heat of between 98-102 degrees (at least with this particular studio. Temperatures do fluctuate depending upon where you take it), and it readily allows for better and more lax movement from the body being heated as well as a more detoxifying experience as the added sweat and perspiration during class removes and releases everyday toxins out of our pores and body more easily. If you are into yoga and haven’t yet experienced the benefits of Bikram, give it shot and see for yourself how great your body feels afterwards.


Once again, after this demonstration, Darian and I had our second prize giveaway which included another bag from PFI, towels and gym bags donated from our awesome TRX representatives, as well as some awesome prizes from Hara’s themselves including a large bag loaded with gifts, a free 60 minute massage, and an entire year membership to their facility. The prize giveaways are always so humbling and it is just the best feeling to give to others and to see the facial expressions of those whose ticket number is called. There is nothing better than giving to others, as it always comes around full circle.


As the event tapered down, we began our final announcements regarding our final events of the year in the month of November and let everyone know that November 7th, we are having an event at Kaizen Crossfit (http://www.kaizencrossfit.com/) at 4:30pm (RSVP asap as space is limited!), as well as our final event of the year which will take place at REI in Boca Park (http://www.rei.com/) the following Saturday the 14th of November from 4:00-7:00pm. Both events will be jam-packed with surprises and things you don’t want to miss, so please RSVP to both events asap to Darian Parker, Heather Doane or myself or email the CTF staff at Connecttofitness@gmail.com to reserve your spot!


As the event tapered down and guests began filing out, Darian, Heather and I were all smiles after another successful event came to an end. As we, also, filed out the doors after the final guests left, we exchanged our ‘goodbyes’ and all went our separate ways.


The ride home was as serene as the ride to the event as the event replayed in my mind the entire ride home. While listening and dancing to Miley Cyrus’s song “Party in the USA”, I smiled as I came to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a ‘bad’ idea. With that said and done… Wouldn’t your ideas be so much more appealing coupled with an action?


Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“Ideas can be life-changing. Sometimes all you need to open the door is just one more good idea.” -Jim Rohn


“If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.” -Albert Einstein


“A pile of rocks ceases to be a rock when somebody contemplates it with the idea of a cathedral in mind.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery


“Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference.” -Nolan Bushnell

The Road Less Traveled

“On the road to success, You can be sure of one thing...There is never a crowd on the extra mile.”… Everyone has heard about going the ‘extra’ mile, but what constitutes that little bit of ‘extra’ and how come only certain people are successful in traversing this outer limit most people restrict themselves from?


The difference between going the ‘extra mile’ and ‘not’ really doesn’t take much, and often-times it can constitute something so simple that it will make you wonder why everyone doesn’t implement such things into their everyday lives.


So, what does it mean to go the ‘extra mile’? You can always tell if you have accomplished and traversed this little bit of ‘extra’ because you will have evoked that ‘Wow’ factor in those around you. It might just be something as simple as taking out the trash, or just going out of your way to hold the door for a stranger, but these ‘small’ things in life are usually more meaningful than we realize. Think to yourself about at time recently when someone went out of their way for you. It can be something diminutive or it can be something on a larger scale, but these actions and expressions are usually unexpected and make for a pleasant surprise to those around you.


The most important thing to remember is that doing something a little added and extra shouldn’t be something you should think twice about. Where does this extra mile come from? It comes from you! When passing through each day of your life, your attitude and mindset should always be attuned with this type of thinking, as it will reflect in the way people view you on both a personal and professional level as. Success in any facet of life isn’t attained by being ordinary. It is only by exceeding expectations and standing out that will help you be on the fast track to getting noticed. The fundamental principal in the ‘extra’ mile dynamic is in your prevailing attitude regardless of what the situation has to offer. If you can find the opportunity in any situation, good or bad, to look at the glass half full, that alone will separate you from the rest.


A good example of this is to consider the art and act of customer service. Nowadays, it seems that the emphasis on most businesses is placed more on the visual attraction factor than on the service and customer relations aspect. Think about the last few times you had someone help you or take your order whether it was at a restaurant, shopping center, car repair shop, or fitness facility… How were you greeted? WERE you even greeted? Do you feel you were catered to and that the employee you were in contact with made you feel important? Were there any special touches added to enhance your experience? Did that person go the ‘extra’ mile? More often than not, the answer to all these questions is a big ‘No’. The sad reality of it all is that these days we have grown so accustomed to being treated this way that it is now ‘socially acceptable’ for an experience to lack any customer service or unexpected pleasantries. I, for one, hardly even expect it anymore and I’m sure when you think about it, you’ll feel quite similarly.


Working in the healthcare industry, where the focal point is on providing and bestowing customers, clients, and patients with service, I never cease to be amazed at how the focus very seldom tends to revolve around the customer, client or patient. It seems that so many healthcare ‘providers’ forget that their career rests not on providing themselves, but on the individuals who come to them for help and to improve an aspect of their life that they aren’t knowledgeable about, or can’t and don’t have the motivation to do themselves. The potential client isn’t seeking you for YOU, they are seeking your expertise, your knowledge, your experience, your help, your advice, your answers, your heart, your trust and your willingness to be a provider to them. Never forget why you got into this field as without your clients, patients and customers… there is no work and definitely no ‘career’. If you entered into this field for YOU, turn around right now and exit immediately because this is NOT about you and it never WILL be about you.


A classic example I run into almost everyday (and one you have all heard or seen before) is right at the gym I, myself, train at. Just the other day when I was there (typically, I am there at or around the same times each day and see the same trainers working as well), I saw the ‘Infamous’ trainer I just love to constantly revert back to. Once again, he was with a new client who looked in obvious need of a lifestyle change. She was very overweight and very awkward when it came to how she was training and it was pretty evident working out was completely new and foreign to her. The trainer, on the other hand, could have cared less and found more interest in watching the silent football game highlights replaying on ESPN on TV than in the fact that his client was practically vying for injury with her horrible, uncorrected form and posture, accidental Valsalva maneuver, and inability to lift the too-heavy weight he had handed her. The only time his eyes would divert from the TV or his arms would uncross from across his chest was when his phone would go off and he’d actually LEAVE his client’s side to text or talk. (F.Y.I. to Potential Clients and Faithful Readers: If your trainer EVER finds texting or ESPN more important than you… it is absolutely time for a new trainer.) Just as well, this sad excuse of a ‘trainer’ must have yawned once every five or so minutes. This is just unacceptable and each time I see this happen, I feel my blood pressure rise and the need to rip out my hair is almost unbearable. Although I find it absolutely appalling and atrocious to watch, I also get a tremendous amount of motivation and a reality check as to why I am in this industry and why it’s so important to speak up about these issues. No one deserves to be treated like this and it makes me sick to my stomach that they are sharing the same job title as me and the genuine people around me, and that they are getting a paycheck for treating people this way. I admit, when I am at a gym, I watch what goes on around me and I let it make me a better person, professional and healthcare provider (…and I remind myself to have faith that someday an end will be put to this eventually.) You should too.



Going the extra mile doesn’t have to be something extravagant or something you have to have to go out of your way to do. As you can see in the example above, being ‘extra’ordinary is sometimes as simple as just doing what’s expected of you. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s a sad thing, but the most mediocre and common gestures you wouldn’t normally think twice about are less common than you think these days, and going the extra mile doesn’t have to constitute much in most cases. Simple things like being appreciative or saying ‘Thank You’, smiling or waving, and just carrying a positive attitude are all small things that take absolutely no effort on our behalf to do. Holding a door, helping someone to pick up something they dropped, or just paying attention to your client for an hour of time they are paying you for. Why is this so difficult for some people to do?


On the other side of the spectrum, I have learned to take these events and turn them into appreciation and gratitude for the people who are constantly going the extra mile each and everyday. I meet these people regularly and am surrounded by them on a daily basis as well. I have the honor of working with the most influential, positive and amazing people I could ever hope to meet who consistently give their all to each and every person they come in contact with. These people devote their lives to other helping others and to give and share their talents and experience to the people who seek their expertise in those specific areas. It is truly humbling to be around people who go out on a limb every chance they get to make a difference in the lives of each person they touch. They live by their own example and treat people the way they would like to be treated. They are in this industry for OTHERS and give selflessly in lieu of the people they are dedicated to servicing. These are the true ‘professionals’ in the industry and they are the ones who make themselves stand out simply by doing what is expected and then adding their own special touch. One of my former Fitness Managers was a perfect example of this analogy. An amazing trainer already, his added touch to every session was such a simple gesture that he was specifically known for around the facility. I even was told about this during my initial training. His extra mile?... Waiting for each of his clients before the hour. At the door. Before each session. Then walking them to the door, and opening the door for them proceeding each session. He was always on it, never late, always smiling and always anxious to meet and greet each client when they walked through the door. And I kid you not… He was praised to no end because of this and people actually recognized this about him and spread the word.


Faithful Reader, it doesn’t take a lot to go the ‘extra’ mile, but the sad part is; few of us ever dare to go beyond what is expected of us. Think for yourself about the situations, people and places you have experienced and think about the special touches that you have encountered personally. Now ask yourself how these situations resonated with you. How did you feel after the experience and was it not unforgettable? Would you rather revisit a place that hardly acknowledged you and/or treated you poorly, or one that made you feel like you mattered and that you were important? Well… this is EXACTLY the same for you versus the rest of the world. There are thousands upon thousands of people in your profession right now. Why should people come see you when they can go anywhere else and receive at least mediocre service? How are you going to make yourself stand out?



The difference between going the extra mile and not is pretty small, but that little push can honestly make so much difference in your personal and professional life. In fact… Your career could depend on it. What’s going to separate you from the rest, and are you willing to go down the road less traveled?


Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.” –Charles Francis Adams


“The man who does more than he is paid for will soon be paid for more than he does.” –Napoleon Hill


“Don’t be content with doing only your duty. Do more than your duty. It’s the horse that finishes a neck ahead wins the race.” –Andrew Carnegie

You're Only As...?...As the Company You Keep

Batman. Superman. The President. Your teacher or ‘invisible’ friend. Michael Jordan. Your Mom. Your Dad, brother. Your sister… Who was your ideal role model growing up, and what qualities did they possess that inspired you? Better yet… How did you emulate that inspiration, with which you desired to become, to help foster the person you are today?


Being so heavily involved in an industry where your career rests not on the best way to benefit yourself, but how you can channel your gift of giving in lieu of helping and benefitting others, it is virtually impossible to not experience the greatest inspiration and gratitude each and every day. The honor of meeting so many amazing professionals who so selflessly profess such immense passion toward their dedication of giving all they can tender to make the lives of those around them a better place is enough to bring tears to your eyes. The immeasurable graciousness I have had the honor of observing each day has made it impossible to not desire to be a better person and to follow in their footsteps by reaching out to grasp as many desperate hands as possible. To say I am not exposed to many ‘role models’ would be an absolute lie, as I can easily say it is no accident that I have made the conscious decision, effort and choice to surround myself with those people whom I look up to and wish to emulate someday in my own life and career.


A difficult lesson to learn, where the solution is often easier said than done, is that we are only as good as the company we keep. Who we choose to surround ourselves with often says more about us to others than what we may actually be doing alone in our spare time. To put it in perspective, think about it for yourself… If you meet a person whom you think you’ll grow to enjoy, yet all the people they choose to associate with have bad intentions and aren’t the best influences, isn’t it natural to directly correlate those associations into your first impressions of this person? Would you not assume that maybe this person has similar attributes as the people they keep close? Hypothetically speaking, would you surround yourself with people who have qualities in which you didn’t stand by or believe in? Probably not, as you would be more apt to let those into your life-space who share similar beliefs and goals as yourself to enhance and compliment you and your life. With that said and done, is it not safe to assume that this correlation is no accident?


Let’s take it a step further in another example: Consider wanting to improve your skills in any given sport. What would benefit you more? Practicing with someone who plays worse than you, or with someone who is at least twice as good as you? The answer is obvious, right? Well, life isn’t much different when you step back and take in the big picture. When you surround yourself with people who strive for greatness, are at least twice as successful as you may be and who stand by the same beliefs, passions and goals as you, it can be easier to ultimately get to where you want to be in life. You will have an experienced pair of footsteps to follow in each day and, more often than not, you can take up extensive short-cuts through the words of wisdom given by these individuals to help get to your destination much more efficiently than having to learn the hard way. With the help of someone who has been in your shoes and who reached success, you have the opportunity to learn from these individuals the lessons they had to learn the hard way, or lessons passed down to them from THEIR mentors or role models. It is, essentially, one of the most valuable things you can do to get from point A to point B, and beyond. We always have to remember and keep in mind that there is truly no such thing as a self-made man. And those who think they can and will do it solely on their own will have an almost impossible journey to succumb to. Regardless of whether the influence of another human being was studied up close and personal by physically being around the person and having access to direct communication with them in this point in time, or whether the method used to learn was indirect and from afar through studying autobiographies, latest research, articles, books, TV appearances, magazines, interviews, etc. done with that person, you are still being ‘mentored’ from afar as you are basing your own experiences off this other individual’s present, past and future practices and experiences. Who better to learn from than those people who have been in your position and who understand what you are going through and what you WILL go through in the future? If you are still in disbelief about this fact, I want you to ask yourself how you went through each stage of life growing up… Did you really depend on no one to teach you how to say and write the alphabet? Who taught you how to ride your first two-wheeler? How did you learn the English language and how did you later pass chemistry? And of your talent playing the piano? What about how you want to raise your own children? You see; we live through life learning through others examples, experiences and words. It’s no mistake that this method has helped us get to where we are right now and that it will continue to help us grow in the future. We all have had inspiration to help us grow, and we have all had to depend on others in some fashion or degree to help get us there. With that said and done, is it no wonder that discontinuing this proven method would be foolish? When you get right down to it, this is something we have ALL proven effective and we can ALL attest that it works… So why stop now?


In my life everyday, I am always encouraging those around me to reach out and grasp the hands of those they look up to and those who are willing to help (and I am telling you… you will very, very rarely, if EVER, find an unwilling hand if you are genuine and stand by your good intentions and inquiries). Meeting good people and holding on to good people are two key things to aspire to do on a daily basis. I, for one, know I wouldn’t be in this exact moment right now had I not tried to reach out to the people I met and immediately looked up to. The greatest successes of my life so far I can dedicate to the many individuals who helped me to see to the ‘impossible’ and who raised the bar so I could fly higher. I always, always advocate this to those around me and will continue to do so for however long I am granted this amazing opportunity to help have an impact on the people I meet as I climb my own ladders, steps and pillars.


Just this past week, while talking with a co-worker about this very subject, I expressed my complete admiration for a world-renowned fitness, wellness and health professional that I have invested a great deal of time into studying over the course of my career who has had a tremendous impact on me as a professional without even knowing it. I went on and on about this admiration until she stopped me and said, “So… Have you contacted him to tell him this?”, and I completely stopped in my tracks. “No.” I said, and right then I had a really strange and inspiring epiphany that I hadn’t even thought of prior. Here I was advocating to everyone around me about reaching out and staying in contact with the people they admire most and I wasn’t even fully living my own example. Granted, the people I have personally met and reached out to I have stuck by like glue and I will continue to do so for the duration of my life and career, but what about the people you admire that you don’t have the convenience of meeting on a daily basis? How do you possibly connect with someone who seems as out of reach and up the chain as Spiderman himself? I thought to myself, “Is it possible that I am putting a limitation on myself with something that may be so seemingly simple to achieve?”… “Hmm… Where’s the loophole?”.


That night, I wrote my own role model a long message via internet expressing my admiration, my epiphany, and how delighted I would be to meet him if the opportunity could ever (even in the slightest) be possible. Sure enough, the very next day I received a gracious letter in return expressing many thanks, kind comments and a phone number to call since he doesn’t reside in Vegas. Wow. Words to begin a connection through conversation. I couldn’t (and still can’t) describe my excitement regarding the matter and how immensely uncomplicated it was to just simply reach out and, if nothing else, let somebody know how they have influenced you. Rarely will you find someone who isn’t happy to continue to make a greater difference than they have already. Almost always, the people who have gone to the top and beyond realized the point I am making in the article and acted on it. More often than not, these same people who received so much help will also be the first ones to continue following in their mentor’s shoes by helping others who look up to them.


Giving is a precious (and contagious) gift that tends to go full circle in the long run. If you fear taking the chance to reach out thinking you won’t get anywhere, try this thought on for size: In knowing no man is ‘self-made’ and that success breeds success through example, hard work, repetition and so forth, remember that your ‘idols’ have worked so hard to emulate their own idols, and therefore have seen the true value of what ‘giving’ can accomplish. This, in turn, will lead them to continue following the cycle originally led by the people they looked up to, and they will, therefore, be the first ones to take a step down to help you take a step up. It is such a simple concept that I believe we read into a little too much when the answer was already evident to begin with. What do you have to lose when reaching out and what’s the worst that could happen? As I always, always say and will continue to say: Don’t be afraid to try something new or to take a risk. We are given this one amazing life to live to the fullest and to live by being the best we can with what we have. We might not have everything or all the answers, but most of the time we can find someone or a few people who might be able to teach us a thing or two or at least guide us in the right direction to find what it is we are striving for. Life is too short as it is. If you can take a short-cut or two here and there, take advantage of the opportunity and give it back in return when the right time comes along.


One of the greatest benefits of surrounding yourself with the people you admire most, and people who have captured your attention in regards to where they are at in life, is the amazing prospect of learning something new each day. When you are encased in a circle of people who are at or below your level, you have no room to grow and no hopes to aspire to reach. You will never learn how to progress through the different stages of your career and you will never have a willing hand reaching down from above to grasp ahold of you and lift you higher. You will be just as successful as the company you keep.


In my short time here in Las Vegas, I have had the incredible opportunity of reaching out to so many wonderful and inspiring professionals from all over the Valley through working at a few different facilities around the city as well as through my work in Connect To Fitness. Each week, I am being introduced to some of the most awe-inspiring people I have ever had the honor of meeting and I can say without guilt and with complete honesty that the quality of my life has done nothing but improve by the day. When you are constantly encompassed by your dreams, goals and the people who are willing to bring you up past your ‘limitations’, your life as you know it will change immensely… for the better. Get out and strive to meet the people who will help You reach your quality of life, Faithful Reader, and see how rapidly the transformation begins!


In this one life, we are only given a short chance to make a change, a difference and an influence. Let those who inspire you lead you to your goals and aspirations through example and approach and follow them without fear or discontent. In a world where so many people need our help, is it no wonder we should willingly extend our hand to reach out and make the most of our time here together?


Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“Very few men are wise by their own counsel, or learned by their own teaching. For he that was only taught by himself had a fool for his master.” –Ben Johnson


“No matter how lofty you are in your department, the responsibility for what your lowliest assistant is doing is yours.” -Bessie Lowland James


“The most important single influence in the life of a person is another person... who is worthy of emulation.” -Paul D. Shafer


“I think it's an honor to be a role model to one person or maybe more than that. If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person's life in a positive light, and that's what I want to do. That's what it's all about.” –Tiger Woods