Sit still. Don’t move. Don’t think about the past or future. Forget about all that needs done and focus on the here and now…. Just (Inhale…). Breathe(…Exhale).
Having hardly rested in days and having just got off work from the early morning, I was on my way to my second business meeting of the week, and had about an hour and half before I had to be clocked-in at my next job to close. Then, after work later that night, I knew I had a ton of work to get done on my computer. The clock was ticking and I could have sworn it was ticking synonymously with my heart. As I looked out my window at the line of cars in front of me and the traffic light still on red, I realized that in that exact moment in time, I was forgetting something quintessential to life and to the journey I was on. I was so focused on the final outcome, deadlines and time constraints that I was forgetting to stop, stand still, and enjoy the moment.
Life as we know it stops for no one. It doesn’t cater to our deadlines, nor does it care if we overload our schedule and miss out on getting adequate rest. It has its own agenda, and we are just along for the ride catering to It. Time is selfish and doesn’t allow us to press pause whenever we might need a time-out. Time is elusive and presents us with the gift of present each and every second with no intervention. How we choose to value this time is up to us, for it is going to pass regardless of our deepest thoughts or desires. Time is our foundation, our platform, and if we are to live to be the best we can be, we need to take full advantage of each moment we are given and never feel that we have to look back longing for more. We just, simply, don’t have enough time for that.
Sometimes it can be easy to take time for granted because it is something we adapt to and something we build each day of our lives around. When we begin to take Time into consideration and really realize and accept that it truly isn’t for or against us, we can live each day appreciating the process of time versus wanting to jump too far ahead or behind the 'here and now'. If there’s one thing Time doesn’t care about it’s... how we spend ours.
That busy day, I found myself unappreciative to what I was being given at that present moment. I had just got out of a job that I absolutely love, was going on an amazing business meeting, was going back to another job I love just as much as the first, and later I was to work on a couple projects I had made the decision to do because they supported my future endeavors and because I enjoyed doing them. I had put time against me instead of realizing that time just exists and that it is the same for everyone.
That same day right around this same time, I had received a text from my good friend, Daniel Howell, who was out of town visiting his grandfather. If there is one thing I always gain from Daniel, it’s inspiration. He is one of the hardest workers I have ever met and sometimes when I see all that he does, I get a new perspective and jump-start on my own life. As a Licensed Massage Therapist, a Registered Dietitian, AND a Certified Personal Trainer for both is own business (Triple Threat Wellness) as well as operating out of different facilities all around Vegas, Daniel is always, always on the go. His work ethic is exceptional and anyone around him can voucher that you can always learn something new from being around him. This day, Daniel wasn’t working and was instead spending time, out of town, with his grandfather who is older and retired. His text just simply alluded to the fact that it was a nice change of pace to just take a step back and enjoy living life at a different pace, in a different light than the chaos he is used to. In this case, it was his grandfather’s. When you are constantly on the go, you get into a routine of being constantly on the go and both your mind and body can’t comprehend the true meaning of ‘stopping to smell the roses’. There is really no such thing as a 'day off' for people like Daniel, and I find myself falling into that trap sometimes as well.
Being in the fitness industry or any industry involving art (music, acting, theatre, etc.) and making a career out of it is a huge risk to partake in, a lot of work, and (best of all) a huge reward when done right. I feel blessed everyday to be able to do what I love as my ‘career’. It rarely feels like ‘work’ (even with time constraints) because it is something I fully enjoy doing. When you are submerged daily in your greatest passions, you don’t and can’t really separate yourself from work like most people aspire to do because your ‘work’ is, essentially, YOU and not... well… ‘work’. I find a common ground between like-minded people in this profession where you truly work so much doing what you love for the sake of other people that it can be too easy to lose track of putting some of that focus back into yourself to do something you enjoy outside of work. In regards to myself, I forget I am working because (and this is the honest truth) even if I wasn’t getting paid for what I do, I would still be doing it any spare second I could get. It’s just not an option in my mind, nor will it ever be. A part of me feels selfish already for insisting on being persistent in making fitness my life and not settling for anything less, and I find that when I actually get a day ‘off’, I don’t know what to do with myself or my time because it is such a big part of me that I cannot separate myself from it and end up ‘working’ anyways. The fine line between work and play can be extremely conflicting, and although this doesn’t sound like such a bad thing (and believe me...it’s not!), you can’t give more than you have or have been given. One of my friends said it best in that, “Sometimes you have to be selfISH in order to be selfLESS.” I never really valued this until I heard it put in this manner, and it truly is something to think about and to live by. Even when you love what you do everyday, it is still important to do something for YOU once and a while. It’s important to give to yourself just as much as you give to others and to be receptive when others try to give to you. If this means doing something completely un-work related, then sometimes this is what needs done. This is something Daniel really realized on that day, and it’s a battle I am constantly working to improve in my own life. Working from a young age, and working many of those years with multiple jobs, I have learned what and where hard work will get you and it’s extremely difficult for me to not be constantly invested in what I'm doing.
This Thanksgiving, I had the day off. I had the entire day off, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. Even my main priorities for that day were un-work related and I found myself, once again, feeling guilty that the day would go by and I wouldn’t have anything productive to show for it. So, I found myself on my computer that morning trying to get some work done and responding to emails and messages. Then I went to support the guys at Kaizen Crossfit as they defeated their opponents in the Turkey Bowl flag-football game held in a park near my house. After that was over, I came home and did a little more light work and got ready to accompany my roommate to the dinner we were invited to at an older couple’s house in Anthem. I had never met them prior and although I was really looking forward to it, I still felt that nagging thought in the back of my head telling me that I should be working instead of going to dinner.
As we pulled up to the house, I was already in amazement as it was just gorgeous. Perched up on a hill overlooking a golf course, pond and the beautiful Las Vegas Strip,and in a pretty secluded area that didn't feel like the city, this was truly a beautiful property. Inside the house was even more enticing as the entire ambiance had a very vintage and Victorian look to it, and smelled like Heaven with the food cooking. The couple who owned the house were just lovely people who introduced themselves to me as Mary-Louise and Henry, and I immediately felt right at home (they WERE from my home state, Pennsylvania, after all!). Remarkably, Mary-Louise’s 86 year-old mother was in town visiting and I found myself listening to her talk for hours that night. She told me the most incredible stories about her life, where she’s from, and just packed my brain full of enough wisdom to last for a long time to come. Daniel’s message from just days before resonated with me as I was able to just be around and enjoy time spent with my roommate, a retired couple and an older woman who lived life at a much slower pace than what I am used to being around, and who had more than enough time to cook an absolutely astonishing meal. As I stuffed myself full, I really felt thankful for each moment I have been given and was able to really just sit back and ‘smell the roses’ (or in this case… turkey and pumpkin pie). It really was refreshing to be in their company and to have that moment to breathe and just be surrounded by great company (and amazing food!), and all thoughts of guilt rushed away in a hurry.
What we have to realize is that there is no use blaming Time for what needs or doesn’t need done and by when and where. Life is too short to let us pass by and we should instead be focused on appreciating the processes we work on to get to our final outcome. The process is just as important as the outcome itself and we need to be able to step back and enjoy each step we take up the ladder to success in whatever endeavor we are trying to accomplish because only then will we be able to effectively ‘give’ ourselves to our tasks or to others. When we don’t take adequate time for ourselves, there is a chance we may not appreciate the precious time we are given and we may end up with resentment or regret towards Time itself, and to ourselves for not being ‘selfish’ enough with our time. Something that always helps me to take the next step (whatever it may be) is to always remember that we only get so much time and that we only have one life to spare. The seconds, minutes, hours and days we expend, we can never return to or hold onto again. Focus on the process and the journey. Does time not exist so everything isn’t required to happen at once?
Remember, you have to be selfish before you can be selfish and that time stands still for no one. Seize each day and each moment and be cognizant of how you exert your time for there are no second chances. Don’t just let them pass you by… Smell the roses.
Until next time, Faithful Reader…
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time we are given.”
-Gandalf to Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring (movie)
“Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.”
-Unknown
“Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely”
-Kay Lyons
“But what minutes! Count them by sensation, and not by calendars, and each moment is a day.” -Benjamin Disraeli
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Meet 'Courage'
Courageousness: n- The quality of mind enabling one to face danger or hardship resolutely… How is it that some of the most ‘ordinary’ people are capable of conquering and triumphing over some of the most unordinary and inconceivable feats and occurrences the rest of us couldn’t even begin to fathom? What can we learn from those who do and have possessed insurmountable courage?
Being in the healthcare industry is humbling in too many ways to count or to begin expressing. Each day, the mission of a healthcare provider is, essentially, to help others find their ‘epiphany’ which will lead them to be successful both in and out of the gym. But what about the people who don’t necessarily have the option of making a change? Or what about those who enter knowingly into a field or career knowing they are up against the life and death of both themselves and those they serve? This is something I have really come to embrace and recognize because all around us and throughout the world, people are fighting battles they will or may never win without a miracle. These people live and breathe courage every minute of their lives because they know that at any given moment in time, everything as they know it could be gone. They realize how precious life is and how it should never be taken for granted because tomorrow is never a guarantee. For some people, just waking up and having the opportunity to see the sun shining is the greatest miracle they could ever hope for. Meet “Courage”….
Having been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in high school that only inflicts a few hundred individuals a year, my 21 year-old cousin, Robbie, truly was the definition of ‘courage’. Spending his high school years and beyond fighting a never-ending battle with Rhabdomyosarcoma, Robbie was always, always one to divert any and all attention elsewhere. With a constant smile and an always positive outlook on his situation, you would seriously never have guessed from the outside all the damage and pain he was experiencing on the inside. Although in and out of the hospital and Doctor’s office for years of constant treatments, chemotherapy and every other possible procedure you could imagine, Robbie always jumped right back into life full force and never made you feel at will to feel sympathy for him. Working back home at the gym I was employed at, when he would walk in, the smile that illuminated on his face was so infectious that you couldn’t help but to feel on top of the world with him. Being around him was almost the opposite of what you’d expect from a cancer patient. He did absolutely EVERYTHING any ‘normal’ kid would do and never took for granted a single moment of his life. Instead of feeling bad for him, you almost couldn’t help but to feel bad for all those who weren’t enjoying life as much as Robbie did. He fought for life against all odds, and although he lost his battle just last week, he is someone I will look up to and admire Robbie for the rest of my life for having the physical strength and the positive mental capacity to live life like there was no tomorrow and to show the world how courageous he could be through such dire circumstances. People like Robbie come few and far between, but when you meet them… you are never the same. “Pride in being a nice guy since 1988.” (–Robbie’s default quote on Facebook)
My best friend growing up and throughout life, Cleveland (yes… he always caught a lot of flack for his name!), was the absolute most positive person I have ever met before. You would never guess that he lived each day in an extremely broken home where he almost daily suffered through abuse, poverty, and very little love and support. Talking to him was always such a positive experience, and his ability to relate to people was just outstanding. Never, ever did he project his problems onto anyone, and he always started every conversation wanting to know about how the other person was doing. People gravitated toward him like bees to honey and his energy could instantly snap you out of any negative moods. When I was younger, it was Cleveland who heard me humming a song and who encouraged me to sing it out loud. Being one of the most talented musicians imaginable, Cleveland found his happiness through his relationships with his friends and through music. Without him, I would have never found my own voice and it was he who was my inspiration to pursue music so heavily when growing up. I used to sing for hours and hours over the phone with and for him and he always supported me through anything I wanted to engage in. Nothing was ever too big for Cleveland and no matter how bad things were in his life, his courage always led him in directions typically opposite of most other people in his situation. To begin a new life for himself, he decided to courageously up and move to Colorado where he received an amazing career opportunity to head and revive the music department at a school where it had been suffering for years. He wanted so badly to escape the life that was destined for him, to live his dream and to defeat all the odds placed against him his entire life. He received his wish as his life only enhanced from that point forward. His next courageous step came in his decision to receive gastric bypass surgery to assist him in his weight-loss goals as he was a pretty hefty guy. After the surgery was over, he successfully lost over 100lbs (and counting!), and was working so hard to reach the goals he had set for himself. Upon my own decision to move to Las Vegas, Cleveland and I had planned on seeing each other as often as possible and he was still right by my side being one of my biggest supporters throughout that challenging time in my life. I was always amazed at how much he constantly ‘gave’, and how much he truly loved me for me, day after day, year after year, come rain or come shine. Right before my move, he had to go back into surgery for another gastrointestinal procedure and I was just beside myself with how far he had come in his journey, and how he never failed to be right there beside me during my own endeavors. During this second and less intense procedure, Cleveland tragically and devastatingly suffered a massive heart attack and didn’t make it through the surgery. Although I lost someone very close and dear to my heart on that day, I am able to take what I was blessed to be given from him and use it to find my own courage in this life and to ‘give’ to others what he never failed to give me. It truly goes to show that the cycle of ‘giving’ really does go full circle, and that even through loss we can find inspiration and courage, in turn, share it with others.
Back home in PA, I spent four years working for a gym that had grown and developed into a home away from home ever since I was little. During this time, I met so many amazing and courageous people who helped shape me into the person I am today and who helped guide me down my chosen path and career field as a personal trainer. Inspiration can sometimes be rare to find, but it’s always impossible to miss. My great friend, Dan, is one of these people who you just couldn’t miss. Not because he is paralyzed and in a wheelchair, but because he always wears a smile despite his disabilities and is one of the most delightful people you could ever hope to know in your lifetime. Having dove out of a tree at the age of 13 into shallow water appearing deep, Dan has spent the majority of his life wheelchair-bound without a chance or guarantee for full or any recovery. The irony of it all is that even in his disposition, he always seems happier than most everyone else around him and he speaks with such a positive demeanor that always rubs off on all those around him. In the years I have known Dan, he indirectly taught me so much about life and about never taking things for granted. Regardless of what life brought his way, he was always, always at the gym every Tuesday and Thursday morning and for a while before I moved, I had the great opportunity of training him on those days I was working. In and out of the hospital continuously due to the other conditions Dan’s immune system just couldn’t always fight off, I remember visiting him while he was in a coma on life-support and just feeling so upset that life could be so cruel to someone so incredible. When you have the honor of knowing someone like Dan, your perceptions, ‘realities’ and life change forever. Although I am 3,000 miles away, I think of Dan all the time. When I think I’m having a bad day, or if I let something get to me, my mind always, always reverts back to Dan and how hard he fights everyday just to stay alive and wake up the next day. I think of all the challenges he has faced and continues to battle through each day. I think about it because the truth is… I truly don’t know if I could ever be as courageous as Dan. I literally can’t even begin to imagine how different and challenging life would be in his shoes. There are people ALL over the world who have it SO much worse than me at any point in time when I could say I’m at my ‘worst’. A ‘bad’ day for me is a day someone like Dan would give anything in this world to experience. I have no business frowning if he can always find a way to smile. Without knowing it, knowing Dan has influenced me to be a better person and to never take life for granted. He literally lives FOR the day, and I think it’s a lesson we should all learn from and apply to our own lives. When I hear people complain about having a leaky faucet at home, breaking their watch, being too tired, needing a car repair, etc… I can’t help but wonder why if THIS is the worst of their ‘problems’, why aren’t they smiling?!... Maybe they have just never met someone like Dan.
The act of courage doesn’t always have to come directly from the people suffering through debilitating situations either. I see courage everyday, all around me in a positive light as well. Take my three friends, Leanne Nester, Jeremiah Carroll, and Martina Montgomery. Leanne is currently going through invasive training to become a Las Vegas Paramedic and is also working hard towards entering the Las Vegas Fire Department, Jeremiah was one of just 120 out of 1,500 applicants here in Vegas just accepted into the Fire Department, and Martina formerly served as one of the only females in the Las Vegas Police Department. Talking with Jeremiah the other day about his daily schedule and the absolute insanity he is dedicated to each day in his training, watching Leanne travel from training to work, to training to work, to work, and BACK to training each and everyday with little or no rest, and having discussions with Martina on what she had to go through just to get ON the LVPD, and what she was forced to handle on a daily basis, I can’t help but to just bow down in awe and admiration of the people who devote (and oftentimes volunteer) their time and lives to helping prevent tragedy, see people and situations at their absolute worst, and put their own lives at stake in lieu of saving or protecting another life. The same can also be said of many other professions as well such as the many, many, many friends and family of mine (and yours) who have served our country in all the different branches of the military and who put their lives on the line for us each and everyday. Although the stories that result from the people in these professions are heavily glorified and taken note of continuously through the news, media, community and even from some of their own personal experiences, I truly think that the individual people behind these acts of courage aren’t always appreciated enough for what they do. Although we are aware of these people and we hear about them, more often than not, it is the situation or people they save or protect that we hear about first and foremost. This is their career. This is their life. And even when we do hear about the hero behind the act, what we are sometimes jaded from and what I believe we take for granted is the fact that these individuals are literally miracle-workers. They go to work each day prepared to face situations the rest of us can’t even begin to fathom and each day they play guardian angel to families, communities, countries, and to the world. The courage these individuals unknowingly possess impresses me to no end as it truly takes a special person to have the desire and the mental and physical ability to face these situations head-on everyday. In being around people like Leanne, Jeremiah and Martina, I have grown so aware of the big and little courageous things people are doing each day for us that we may not think twice about. I also apply it to my own life and career in knowing that each person that walks into my life seeking my help has a fear of something. That each person in GENERAL is afraid of something. That part of my job is to take that person’s fear and help them find the courage to overcome it. It’s a quality we all possess and are able to do, but it is also a quality we have to be reminded about on occasion and sometimes nagged about.
These are only a couple of the many, many examples of courage that have influenced me to be the person I am today and of the billions of stories we could spend a lifetime talking about. There is something to learn from each person’s courage and no matter how glum the situation, there is always something beautiful and inspirational that will always emerge from it in time. Maybe not this instant. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not in a year. But eventually. As healthcare providers, we mustn’t ever forget to try and find the beauty that lies within the people who look to us for the courage to help them find their own. Each person will and does have a story. Each person has lived. Has lost. Has seen devastation. Tragedy. Has fought a battle and won. Has lost. These individuals possess more courage than we know for walking through our doors as for most of them, this experience alone can be terrifying and may have taken a significant amount of time to work up to.
We must approach each day like it’s our last and know we may not always win. The obstacles that Life burdens us with are in direct proportion to our strength and we must realize that we will never be thrown a ball that’s too heavy for us to catch. Appreciate all that’s around you and the next time you feel like complaining… smile.
Until next time, Faithful Reader…
“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” –August Wilson
“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” –Mark Victor Hansen
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt
“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.” –Earl Wilson
(Rest in peace, Robbie and Cleveland. I will always love you.)
Being in the healthcare industry is humbling in too many ways to count or to begin expressing. Each day, the mission of a healthcare provider is, essentially, to help others find their ‘epiphany’ which will lead them to be successful both in and out of the gym. But what about the people who don’t necessarily have the option of making a change? Or what about those who enter knowingly into a field or career knowing they are up against the life and death of both themselves and those they serve? This is something I have really come to embrace and recognize because all around us and throughout the world, people are fighting battles they will or may never win without a miracle. These people live and breathe courage every minute of their lives because they know that at any given moment in time, everything as they know it could be gone. They realize how precious life is and how it should never be taken for granted because tomorrow is never a guarantee. For some people, just waking up and having the opportunity to see the sun shining is the greatest miracle they could ever hope for. Meet “Courage”….
Having been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in high school that only inflicts a few hundred individuals a year, my 21 year-old cousin, Robbie, truly was the definition of ‘courage’. Spending his high school years and beyond fighting a never-ending battle with Rhabdomyosarcoma, Robbie was always, always one to divert any and all attention elsewhere. With a constant smile and an always positive outlook on his situation, you would seriously never have guessed from the outside all the damage and pain he was experiencing on the inside. Although in and out of the hospital and Doctor’s office for years of constant treatments, chemotherapy and every other possible procedure you could imagine, Robbie always jumped right back into life full force and never made you feel at will to feel sympathy for him. Working back home at the gym I was employed at, when he would walk in, the smile that illuminated on his face was so infectious that you couldn’t help but to feel on top of the world with him. Being around him was almost the opposite of what you’d expect from a cancer patient. He did absolutely EVERYTHING any ‘normal’ kid would do and never took for granted a single moment of his life. Instead of feeling bad for him, you almost couldn’t help but to feel bad for all those who weren’t enjoying life as much as Robbie did. He fought for life against all odds, and although he lost his battle just last week, he is someone I will look up to and admire Robbie for the rest of my life for having the physical strength and the positive mental capacity to live life like there was no tomorrow and to show the world how courageous he could be through such dire circumstances. People like Robbie come few and far between, but when you meet them… you are never the same. “Pride in being a nice guy since 1988.” (–Robbie’s default quote on Facebook)
My best friend growing up and throughout life, Cleveland (yes… he always caught a lot of flack for his name!), was the absolute most positive person I have ever met before. You would never guess that he lived each day in an extremely broken home where he almost daily suffered through abuse, poverty, and very little love and support. Talking to him was always such a positive experience, and his ability to relate to people was just outstanding. Never, ever did he project his problems onto anyone, and he always started every conversation wanting to know about how the other person was doing. People gravitated toward him like bees to honey and his energy could instantly snap you out of any negative moods. When I was younger, it was Cleveland who heard me humming a song and who encouraged me to sing it out loud. Being one of the most talented musicians imaginable, Cleveland found his happiness through his relationships with his friends and through music. Without him, I would have never found my own voice and it was he who was my inspiration to pursue music so heavily when growing up. I used to sing for hours and hours over the phone with and for him and he always supported me through anything I wanted to engage in. Nothing was ever too big for Cleveland and no matter how bad things were in his life, his courage always led him in directions typically opposite of most other people in his situation. To begin a new life for himself, he decided to courageously up and move to Colorado where he received an amazing career opportunity to head and revive the music department at a school where it had been suffering for years. He wanted so badly to escape the life that was destined for him, to live his dream and to defeat all the odds placed against him his entire life. He received his wish as his life only enhanced from that point forward. His next courageous step came in his decision to receive gastric bypass surgery to assist him in his weight-loss goals as he was a pretty hefty guy. After the surgery was over, he successfully lost over 100lbs (and counting!), and was working so hard to reach the goals he had set for himself. Upon my own decision to move to Las Vegas, Cleveland and I had planned on seeing each other as often as possible and he was still right by my side being one of my biggest supporters throughout that challenging time in my life. I was always amazed at how much he constantly ‘gave’, and how much he truly loved me for me, day after day, year after year, come rain or come shine. Right before my move, he had to go back into surgery for another gastrointestinal procedure and I was just beside myself with how far he had come in his journey, and how he never failed to be right there beside me during my own endeavors. During this second and less intense procedure, Cleveland tragically and devastatingly suffered a massive heart attack and didn’t make it through the surgery. Although I lost someone very close and dear to my heart on that day, I am able to take what I was blessed to be given from him and use it to find my own courage in this life and to ‘give’ to others what he never failed to give me. It truly goes to show that the cycle of ‘giving’ really does go full circle, and that even through loss we can find inspiration and courage, in turn, share it with others.
Back home in PA, I spent four years working for a gym that had grown and developed into a home away from home ever since I was little. During this time, I met so many amazing and courageous people who helped shape me into the person I am today and who helped guide me down my chosen path and career field as a personal trainer. Inspiration can sometimes be rare to find, but it’s always impossible to miss. My great friend, Dan, is one of these people who you just couldn’t miss. Not because he is paralyzed and in a wheelchair, but because he always wears a smile despite his disabilities and is one of the most delightful people you could ever hope to know in your lifetime. Having dove out of a tree at the age of 13 into shallow water appearing deep, Dan has spent the majority of his life wheelchair-bound without a chance or guarantee for full or any recovery. The irony of it all is that even in his disposition, he always seems happier than most everyone else around him and he speaks with such a positive demeanor that always rubs off on all those around him. In the years I have known Dan, he indirectly taught me so much about life and about never taking things for granted. Regardless of what life brought his way, he was always, always at the gym every Tuesday and Thursday morning and for a while before I moved, I had the great opportunity of training him on those days I was working. In and out of the hospital continuously due to the other conditions Dan’s immune system just couldn’t always fight off, I remember visiting him while he was in a coma on life-support and just feeling so upset that life could be so cruel to someone so incredible. When you have the honor of knowing someone like Dan, your perceptions, ‘realities’ and life change forever. Although I am 3,000 miles away, I think of Dan all the time. When I think I’m having a bad day, or if I let something get to me, my mind always, always reverts back to Dan and how hard he fights everyday just to stay alive and wake up the next day. I think of all the challenges he has faced and continues to battle through each day. I think about it because the truth is… I truly don’t know if I could ever be as courageous as Dan. I literally can’t even begin to imagine how different and challenging life would be in his shoes. There are people ALL over the world who have it SO much worse than me at any point in time when I could say I’m at my ‘worst’. A ‘bad’ day for me is a day someone like Dan would give anything in this world to experience. I have no business frowning if he can always find a way to smile. Without knowing it, knowing Dan has influenced me to be a better person and to never take life for granted. He literally lives FOR the day, and I think it’s a lesson we should all learn from and apply to our own lives. When I hear people complain about having a leaky faucet at home, breaking their watch, being too tired, needing a car repair, etc… I can’t help but wonder why if THIS is the worst of their ‘problems’, why aren’t they smiling?!... Maybe they have just never met someone like Dan.
The act of courage doesn’t always have to come directly from the people suffering through debilitating situations either. I see courage everyday, all around me in a positive light as well. Take my three friends, Leanne Nester, Jeremiah Carroll, and Martina Montgomery. Leanne is currently going through invasive training to become a Las Vegas Paramedic and is also working hard towards entering the Las Vegas Fire Department, Jeremiah was one of just 120 out of 1,500 applicants here in Vegas just accepted into the Fire Department, and Martina formerly served as one of the only females in the Las Vegas Police Department. Talking with Jeremiah the other day about his daily schedule and the absolute insanity he is dedicated to each day in his training, watching Leanne travel from training to work, to training to work, to work, and BACK to training each and everyday with little or no rest, and having discussions with Martina on what she had to go through just to get ON the LVPD, and what she was forced to handle on a daily basis, I can’t help but to just bow down in awe and admiration of the people who devote (and oftentimes volunteer) their time and lives to helping prevent tragedy, see people and situations at their absolute worst, and put their own lives at stake in lieu of saving or protecting another life. The same can also be said of many other professions as well such as the many, many, many friends and family of mine (and yours) who have served our country in all the different branches of the military and who put their lives on the line for us each and everyday. Although the stories that result from the people in these professions are heavily glorified and taken note of continuously through the news, media, community and even from some of their own personal experiences, I truly think that the individual people behind these acts of courage aren’t always appreciated enough for what they do. Although we are aware of these people and we hear about them, more often than not, it is the situation or people they save or protect that we hear about first and foremost. This is their career. This is their life. And even when we do hear about the hero behind the act, what we are sometimes jaded from and what I believe we take for granted is the fact that these individuals are literally miracle-workers. They go to work each day prepared to face situations the rest of us can’t even begin to fathom and each day they play guardian angel to families, communities, countries, and to the world. The courage these individuals unknowingly possess impresses me to no end as it truly takes a special person to have the desire and the mental and physical ability to face these situations head-on everyday. In being around people like Leanne, Jeremiah and Martina, I have grown so aware of the big and little courageous things people are doing each day for us that we may not think twice about. I also apply it to my own life and career in knowing that each person that walks into my life seeking my help has a fear of something. That each person in GENERAL is afraid of something. That part of my job is to take that person’s fear and help them find the courage to overcome it. It’s a quality we all possess and are able to do, but it is also a quality we have to be reminded about on occasion and sometimes nagged about.
These are only a couple of the many, many examples of courage that have influenced me to be the person I am today and of the billions of stories we could spend a lifetime talking about. There is something to learn from each person’s courage and no matter how glum the situation, there is always something beautiful and inspirational that will always emerge from it in time. Maybe not this instant. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not in a year. But eventually. As healthcare providers, we mustn’t ever forget to try and find the beauty that lies within the people who look to us for the courage to help them find their own. Each person will and does have a story. Each person has lived. Has lost. Has seen devastation. Tragedy. Has fought a battle and won. Has lost. These individuals possess more courage than we know for walking through our doors as for most of them, this experience alone can be terrifying and may have taken a significant amount of time to work up to.
We must approach each day like it’s our last and know we may not always win. The obstacles that Life burdens us with are in direct proportion to our strength and we must realize that we will never be thrown a ball that’s too heavy for us to catch. Appreciate all that’s around you and the next time you feel like complaining… smile.
Until next time, Faithful Reader…
“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” –August Wilson
“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” –Mark Victor Hansen
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt
“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.” –Earl Wilson
(Rest in peace, Robbie and Cleveland. I will always love you.)
Monday, November 16, 2009
YOU-nited Through Connections
“How did you get to where you are today?” As I thought about the best way to answer this in a short amount of time, I came to the conclusion that the answer could quite possibly be summed up in just one word: Networking. How did you get to where YOU are today?
During our Connect To Fitness Event at REI in Boca Park here in the luxurious and astonishing Summerlin area of Las Vegas, there was a portion of the event dedicated to about a half an hour of ‘speed networking’ (think ‘speed dating’… but less creepy). We were to travel around the room, exchanging seats with the person before us every couple minutes and hold a networking conversation with the person on the other side of the table. One of the questions someone asked me was that of how I came to be standing right where I am right now, and all I could find myself doing was reflecting on the process I had went through to get to where I am today. This question in itself is beyond a two or three minute conversation, but I remember thinking that overall I could sum up my answer in that one word: Networking.
A year and a half ago, if you’d have told me I’d be successfully living in Las Vegas, I would probably have laughed. Not because I wouldn’t have believed in my abilities to somehow pull it off, but because I had known literally NO one who lived in Vegas. How on earth would I be capable of moving cross-country 3,000 miles away from home without any connections to help make the process more efficient? The long and short of it is that it would have been a much greater challenge had I not made connections to assist my endeavors. The myth of the ‘self-made’ man is exactly that: A ‘Myth’. Although I can look back and pride myself in actually taking the steps up the ladder, I can’t credit that those steps were created alone or that I didn’t have a hand guiding me.
During the ‘speed networking’ experience, I found myself sitting in front of my bosses, colleagues, co-workers, friends, strangers, and mentors, all who have had (and continue to have) an impact on my life. I thought back to my moving experience, and how incredibly far 3,000 miles was but how close it felt with the help of other people. The struggles involved with making such a tremendous change and move were life-changing and during that time I really learned how strong of a person I truly was. I can remember telling someone back home I had considered myself 'close' to about my move and hearing the response of, “Oh… You’ll be back. Everyone comes back.”. Devastated, it caused me to shrink briefly into my shell, but to then immediately spring out and use it for inspiration as to why I have to work extra hard to make this happen.
During the event as well, Darian got up in front of everyone who attended and gave the shortened version of one of the lectures he does for the students at the Professional Fitness Institute for the students at Boot Camp. One of the points he makes that always resonates with me is that of surrounding yourself and networking with people who aspire and are similar to you. Each time I hear him deliver this great point, my mind reverts back to the people who really didn’t believe in me when all was said and done. The pain I experienced in my moving experience was both good and bad as it hurts to find out the people you rely on aren’t really there for you, but it also helps you to cherish and recognize the people who do stick by you through thick and through thin without question. Without the negative circumstances, we would have no way of recognizing and appreciating the positive and great people and experiences in our lives to the extent that is deserved. Sometimes it takes a life-altering experience to figure out how strong we are as individuals and who is really going to be there when it counts. Step back and look at your own life and ask yourself this: How many people would be there for you right now if it came down to a life-altering/changing situation? How many of the people around you could stick by you through whatever life endowed and through whatever sticks and stones were thrown your way? The few people you can say without a doubt would be by your side are the types of people you want to encompass your life around. When you have people around you that believe in and support your endeavors, there will be no resentment or question to your abilities because you will always have a constant support system behind you lifting you to the next level and surrounding you from every angle. Now let’s take this a step further; Think back to the most traumatic experience in your life. It can be anything on any scale. Who was there for you and who helped pick you back up when you felt you had stumbled for the last time? It is important to always seek out and keep close those select few individuals who will always be there to catch you when you fall and to help you surpass your ‘limitations’ and goals you set for yourself. When you are surrounded with people who constantly put you down and don’t believe in you, it becomes ingrained in our minds that maybe we aren’t good enough, smart enough, fast enough, strong enough, and we may not even try to take that risk or chance that could be the next step in our journey to success.
Success in itself is very much a mental game. Whether it’s reaching our goals personally or professionally, there is so much mental strength involved in doing something we may ‘fail’ at initially. It takes a certain type of person to push forward knowing there is a risk involved and possibly failure. When we have the right people around us reaching out a helping hand, we know that even if we make a mistake or ‘fail’ the first or 20th time that we will still have a great support system behind us cheering us on to the finish line. This can make all the difference when trying to accomplish something. Let go of all that holds you back and take the risk you have been putting off. What do you have to lose?
As Darian went through the basics of networking and why it’s so important to do for yourself and your career, all eyes were fixated on the screen in the front of the room and you could literally have heard a pin-drop. The response afterward was awesome and by incorporating the speed-networking game directly after, we were actually able to apply some of these things to real life that we had just learned about during the lecture.
One of the things I would encourage you to do, Faithful Reader, is step out of your box and reach out to the people you see everyday. Reach out to the people you admire. Reach out to the people who might need a helping hand to reach their next step. Reach out with the intention to ‘give’ and I promise you, it will be reciprocated. I think one of the things we fear when networking is that other people won’t be willing to put in what we are putting out. You make yourself vulnerable when networking as you are intentionally inviting another person to be involved with you and to help embellish your career while you are helping to do the same for them. One of the things I have really enjoyed about Connect To Fitness is that it has allowed me to network with some of the most amazing professionals in the area. Having just moved here less than eight months ago, I have had the opportunity to reach out to so many people I may never have had known about or had the opportunity to meet without networking.
Another valuable point Darian stresses heavily in his lecture that rings true in all walks of life is that there is truly no substitute for a one-on-one, face-to-face meeting with someone. Technology has taken a lot of face time out of our lives as seeing someone in person is no longer the only way to keep in touch. Neither is writing a letter, putting on a stamp and mailing it hoping it gets to the right person by the right time. We are no longer plagued by ‘long distance’ relationships as technology has made it so much easier to keep in touch through phones, internet, webcams, etc. Although this is breakthrough, exciting and absolutely necessary now-a-days, it has also left meeting in person a lost art and a lost cause. Now people meet over the internet and foster their relationships virtually. If there is one thing I can agree with, it’s that what Darian says is absolutely true as you will never be able to achieve the emotional ties and connections with someone through virtual reality. You will never see an expression through words, you will never hear the tone of someone’s voice through online chat, you will never ‘see’ what a person is truly passionate about unless you actually take the time to meet with them. This has become one of the things I look forward to most. It may be strange when I say that I meet with strangers on a weekly basis whom I either only met maybe once or never before prior to our meeting. But in the past, this was the only way of meeting someone and I still believe today that you should never substitute an actual and live conversation with emails and Facebook conversations. Meeting with some of the greatest professionals in all of Las Vegas has been an extremely honoring and humbling experience to me as each person has been above and beyond anything their profiles or online messages could have told me. I have walked out of meetings so inspired that it actually brought tears to my eyes and it always makes me wonder why more people don’t reach out to sit down, have a cup of coffee and just simply get to know each other and find out what the both of you are all about. I have never, ever had a meeting where something productive didn’t come out of it. But I HAVE had numerous occasions online where sending messages back and forth just didn’t fill that void. You are also able to foster an actual friendship using this method and you have the ability to connect on an emotional level with a person. Meeting with new people a couple times a week has really helped me both personally and professionally establish myself and get to know the area that I live in. Connect To Fitness has been a fantastic avenue for people to get involved with each other and to meet the other people in this industry who are vying to make a difference through personal connections and taking risks. There just isn’t a substitute. So, I encourage you, Faithful Reader, to reach out and meet the people you have relied on technology to keep you in touch with. Ask them out for coffee, lunch or dinner, or visit their facility or invite them into yours, and just talk. Call them on the phone if they live far away and hold a conversation. Ask questions. Find out how you can help them. What goes around, comes around. It’s tried and true, and it’s GOOD to step out of your comfort zone.
As our awesome event tied up and came to an end, we actually had to extend the event an entire hour as people stayed after to connect further through conversations. I was one of those people. One of the funny things was that a couple people whom I have been ‘friends’ with on Facebook for months, but never had the chance to meet in real life, attended and I couldn’t believe what I had been missing in my online ‘conversations’ with these individuals. It was quite awesome to meet the person behind the words and to actually see what they encompass in real life.
A good part of my last hour at the event was spent talking to two of the very people who have done so much for me this past year and a half, Dr. Darian Parker and Charles Ware. As we sat there and talked outside of the work environment, I was surprised to learn a lot about them that I never knew before. I also thought during our conversation how ‘giving’ truly does go full circle. I remembered my process of moving out to Las Vegas and having to so heavily rely on both of them for support, confidence and guidance in everything I was trying to do across the country (and I still rely on them heavily to this day!). I remember all that they reached out and did for me even though they didn’t even know me well and the risks that both of them took by taking me under their wing. I will never know how to repay them for all that they invested into me, but I do know that by leading from the example they constantly follow, I can give back little by little by following through with their expectations of me and the expectations I have made for myself. Since moving to Vegas, I have been blessed to be able to work alongside these very individuals who helped me through the biggest challenge of my life and I will spend my own time working to help them in any way I can. Giving is the world’s best gift, and you might surprise yourself with the irony of how things work out when you decide to allow your heart to be vulnerable to giving.
As I watched the remainder of the people pile out, I, too, packed up my belongings and said my ‘goodbyes’ to the people that were left at the event. On the way home, my phone buzzed and I realized I had received a text message from a friend all the way back home. I read the message and thought how ironic life works itself out. The message said, “I wanted to say thank you for your email the other day and that I miss you, miss seeing you and miss hearing your voice. Let me know when you are coming to town next because no amount of emails beats actual Emma-time.”. I couldn’t help but smile.
Until next time, Faithful Reader,
“It's not enough to hit the notes. There is no point in the singers just standing there and sounding wonderful if they're not connecting with the characters they are portraying.” –Bruce Beresford
“My parents told me that I could do and be anything I really wanted. I believed them.” -Molly McDonald
“To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.” -Theodore H. White
During our Connect To Fitness Event at REI in Boca Park here in the luxurious and astonishing Summerlin area of Las Vegas, there was a portion of the event dedicated to about a half an hour of ‘speed networking’ (think ‘speed dating’… but less creepy). We were to travel around the room, exchanging seats with the person before us every couple minutes and hold a networking conversation with the person on the other side of the table. One of the questions someone asked me was that of how I came to be standing right where I am right now, and all I could find myself doing was reflecting on the process I had went through to get to where I am today. This question in itself is beyond a two or three minute conversation, but I remember thinking that overall I could sum up my answer in that one word: Networking.
A year and a half ago, if you’d have told me I’d be successfully living in Las Vegas, I would probably have laughed. Not because I wouldn’t have believed in my abilities to somehow pull it off, but because I had known literally NO one who lived in Vegas. How on earth would I be capable of moving cross-country 3,000 miles away from home without any connections to help make the process more efficient? The long and short of it is that it would have been a much greater challenge had I not made connections to assist my endeavors. The myth of the ‘self-made’ man is exactly that: A ‘Myth’. Although I can look back and pride myself in actually taking the steps up the ladder, I can’t credit that those steps were created alone or that I didn’t have a hand guiding me.
During the ‘speed networking’ experience, I found myself sitting in front of my bosses, colleagues, co-workers, friends, strangers, and mentors, all who have had (and continue to have) an impact on my life. I thought back to my moving experience, and how incredibly far 3,000 miles was but how close it felt with the help of other people. The struggles involved with making such a tremendous change and move were life-changing and during that time I really learned how strong of a person I truly was. I can remember telling someone back home I had considered myself 'close' to about my move and hearing the response of, “Oh… You’ll be back. Everyone comes back.”. Devastated, it caused me to shrink briefly into my shell, but to then immediately spring out and use it for inspiration as to why I have to work extra hard to make this happen.
During the event as well, Darian got up in front of everyone who attended and gave the shortened version of one of the lectures he does for the students at the Professional Fitness Institute for the students at Boot Camp. One of the points he makes that always resonates with me is that of surrounding yourself and networking with people who aspire and are similar to you. Each time I hear him deliver this great point, my mind reverts back to the people who really didn’t believe in me when all was said and done. The pain I experienced in my moving experience was both good and bad as it hurts to find out the people you rely on aren’t really there for you, but it also helps you to cherish and recognize the people who do stick by you through thick and through thin without question. Without the negative circumstances, we would have no way of recognizing and appreciating the positive and great people and experiences in our lives to the extent that is deserved. Sometimes it takes a life-altering experience to figure out how strong we are as individuals and who is really going to be there when it counts. Step back and look at your own life and ask yourself this: How many people would be there for you right now if it came down to a life-altering/changing situation? How many of the people around you could stick by you through whatever life endowed and through whatever sticks and stones were thrown your way? The few people you can say without a doubt would be by your side are the types of people you want to encompass your life around. When you have people around you that believe in and support your endeavors, there will be no resentment or question to your abilities because you will always have a constant support system behind you lifting you to the next level and surrounding you from every angle. Now let’s take this a step further; Think back to the most traumatic experience in your life. It can be anything on any scale. Who was there for you and who helped pick you back up when you felt you had stumbled for the last time? It is important to always seek out and keep close those select few individuals who will always be there to catch you when you fall and to help you surpass your ‘limitations’ and goals you set for yourself. When you are surrounded with people who constantly put you down and don’t believe in you, it becomes ingrained in our minds that maybe we aren’t good enough, smart enough, fast enough, strong enough, and we may not even try to take that risk or chance that could be the next step in our journey to success.
Success in itself is very much a mental game. Whether it’s reaching our goals personally or professionally, there is so much mental strength involved in doing something we may ‘fail’ at initially. It takes a certain type of person to push forward knowing there is a risk involved and possibly failure. When we have the right people around us reaching out a helping hand, we know that even if we make a mistake or ‘fail’ the first or 20th time that we will still have a great support system behind us cheering us on to the finish line. This can make all the difference when trying to accomplish something. Let go of all that holds you back and take the risk you have been putting off. What do you have to lose?
As Darian went through the basics of networking and why it’s so important to do for yourself and your career, all eyes were fixated on the screen in the front of the room and you could literally have heard a pin-drop. The response afterward was awesome and by incorporating the speed-networking game directly after, we were actually able to apply some of these things to real life that we had just learned about during the lecture.
One of the things I would encourage you to do, Faithful Reader, is step out of your box and reach out to the people you see everyday. Reach out to the people you admire. Reach out to the people who might need a helping hand to reach their next step. Reach out with the intention to ‘give’ and I promise you, it will be reciprocated. I think one of the things we fear when networking is that other people won’t be willing to put in what we are putting out. You make yourself vulnerable when networking as you are intentionally inviting another person to be involved with you and to help embellish your career while you are helping to do the same for them. One of the things I have really enjoyed about Connect To Fitness is that it has allowed me to network with some of the most amazing professionals in the area. Having just moved here less than eight months ago, I have had the opportunity to reach out to so many people I may never have had known about or had the opportunity to meet without networking.
Another valuable point Darian stresses heavily in his lecture that rings true in all walks of life is that there is truly no substitute for a one-on-one, face-to-face meeting with someone. Technology has taken a lot of face time out of our lives as seeing someone in person is no longer the only way to keep in touch. Neither is writing a letter, putting on a stamp and mailing it hoping it gets to the right person by the right time. We are no longer plagued by ‘long distance’ relationships as technology has made it so much easier to keep in touch through phones, internet, webcams, etc. Although this is breakthrough, exciting and absolutely necessary now-a-days, it has also left meeting in person a lost art and a lost cause. Now people meet over the internet and foster their relationships virtually. If there is one thing I can agree with, it’s that what Darian says is absolutely true as you will never be able to achieve the emotional ties and connections with someone through virtual reality. You will never see an expression through words, you will never hear the tone of someone’s voice through online chat, you will never ‘see’ what a person is truly passionate about unless you actually take the time to meet with them. This has become one of the things I look forward to most. It may be strange when I say that I meet with strangers on a weekly basis whom I either only met maybe once or never before prior to our meeting. But in the past, this was the only way of meeting someone and I still believe today that you should never substitute an actual and live conversation with emails and Facebook conversations. Meeting with some of the greatest professionals in all of Las Vegas has been an extremely honoring and humbling experience to me as each person has been above and beyond anything their profiles or online messages could have told me. I have walked out of meetings so inspired that it actually brought tears to my eyes and it always makes me wonder why more people don’t reach out to sit down, have a cup of coffee and just simply get to know each other and find out what the both of you are all about. I have never, ever had a meeting where something productive didn’t come out of it. But I HAVE had numerous occasions online where sending messages back and forth just didn’t fill that void. You are also able to foster an actual friendship using this method and you have the ability to connect on an emotional level with a person. Meeting with new people a couple times a week has really helped me both personally and professionally establish myself and get to know the area that I live in. Connect To Fitness has been a fantastic avenue for people to get involved with each other and to meet the other people in this industry who are vying to make a difference through personal connections and taking risks. There just isn’t a substitute. So, I encourage you, Faithful Reader, to reach out and meet the people you have relied on technology to keep you in touch with. Ask them out for coffee, lunch or dinner, or visit their facility or invite them into yours, and just talk. Call them on the phone if they live far away and hold a conversation. Ask questions. Find out how you can help them. What goes around, comes around. It’s tried and true, and it’s GOOD to step out of your comfort zone.
As our awesome event tied up and came to an end, we actually had to extend the event an entire hour as people stayed after to connect further through conversations. I was one of those people. One of the funny things was that a couple people whom I have been ‘friends’ with on Facebook for months, but never had the chance to meet in real life, attended and I couldn’t believe what I had been missing in my online ‘conversations’ with these individuals. It was quite awesome to meet the person behind the words and to actually see what they encompass in real life.
A good part of my last hour at the event was spent talking to two of the very people who have done so much for me this past year and a half, Dr. Darian Parker and Charles Ware. As we sat there and talked outside of the work environment, I was surprised to learn a lot about them that I never knew before. I also thought during our conversation how ‘giving’ truly does go full circle. I remembered my process of moving out to Las Vegas and having to so heavily rely on both of them for support, confidence and guidance in everything I was trying to do across the country (and I still rely on them heavily to this day!). I remember all that they reached out and did for me even though they didn’t even know me well and the risks that both of them took by taking me under their wing. I will never know how to repay them for all that they invested into me, but I do know that by leading from the example they constantly follow, I can give back little by little by following through with their expectations of me and the expectations I have made for myself. Since moving to Vegas, I have been blessed to be able to work alongside these very individuals who helped me through the biggest challenge of my life and I will spend my own time working to help them in any way I can. Giving is the world’s best gift, and you might surprise yourself with the irony of how things work out when you decide to allow your heart to be vulnerable to giving.
As I watched the remainder of the people pile out, I, too, packed up my belongings and said my ‘goodbyes’ to the people that were left at the event. On the way home, my phone buzzed and I realized I had received a text message from a friend all the way back home. I read the message and thought how ironic life works itself out. The message said, “I wanted to say thank you for your email the other day and that I miss you, miss seeing you and miss hearing your voice. Let me know when you are coming to town next because no amount of emails beats actual Emma-time.”. I couldn’t help but smile.
Until next time, Faithful Reader,
“It's not enough to hit the notes. There is no point in the singers just standing there and sounding wonderful if they're not connecting with the characters they are portraying.” –Bruce Beresford
“My parents told me that I could do and be anything I really wanted. I believed them.” -Molly McDonald
“To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.” -Theodore H. White
Monday, November 2, 2009
"Optical Illusions"
The drive home was a blurry one. Gripping the steering wheel so tightly, I struggled to choke back tears as my faith and belief began to wither away. My world as I knew it was crumbling and the biggest challenge of my life was confronting me head-on.
Originally from Erie County, Pennsylvania and residing in a small town called Waterford, I was always a little girl with a big imagination and even bigger dreams. So big, in fact, that even I didn’t always take them seriously. Growing up modestly without many material items, imagination was the key to cure boredom and it was where I returned to on a daily basis. When friends would come over, we wouldn’t just simply play with toys and technology like most kids do nowadays, but we would be in the woods conveniently surrounding my house building castles with motes and living lavishly amongst the fantasy world we would create and believe in. We would ‘cook’ gourmet food, our careers were (obviously) no less than six figures, and most of the time even that wasn’t even an issue as anything we wanted we were able to create right before our very eyes. We would cruise around in our vehicles that never needed repaired (or gas!) and our houses were massive, always clean, and mortgage free. I grew up with the mentality that nothing was impossible because, for me, imagination had shown me that nothing WAS on the realm of ‘impossible’. I had lived each day vicariously in a different career doing whatever I desired at that moment in time, and the truth of it is that after a while, I really started to believe those things. My imagination took on a life of its own and I didn’t even understand the concept of ‘impossibilities’. As far as I knew, I didn’t have much, but at the same time, I was rich with everything I could possibly ever dream of (and dream I did!).
It seems strange to me that as the years pass and we are exposed to more and more people and more and more situations, our need for ‘safety’ increases and our emotions begin to get in the way of our belief system we have within ourselves. We become so easily influenced by those people and situations, that over time we actually believe these negative thoughts and we become worn down and pushed into fear of progressing into what is now known not as ‘imagination… but as ‘the unknown’.
Growing up myself, I didn’t have a lot, but I CREATED a lot. If I didn’t physically own something or if I wasn’t physically able to do something right at that moment (like… say… fly away), my mind would create the right conditions to make these endeavors completely viable and possible in my life. And each day I would find a way to make this happen. We all did. When we were lonely, we brought to life dolls, figurines, action figures, and tons of inanimate objects that probably made absolutely no sense to have ‘alive’. Although creating a friend out of thin air is not quite conducent to life as you get older, it doesn’t deter from the fact that most of us are guilty of lacking imagination and belief in what we may not be able to actually see before our eyes. Seeing tends to be where we find our belief, and we let our horizons end at an eye’s distance. This is explained perfectly in a quote made by Paul Chek: “The eyes only see what the mind knows.” I mean… read this over again a couple time and really digest what this is saying. Examine the truth exemplified in this simply complex statement. Now… Return to childhood when you actually could SEE the palace you created outside out of a few trees, some rocks, and the creek (aka: ‘mote’) in your backyard. Remember how transient time was and how we truly had no perception of ‘impossibility’. Anything was possible and everything WAS possible because we not only thought about what we wanted to do with our time and our lives, but we BELIEVED in it. We made all things possible not because we had to see them with our own eyes, but because our mind saw the final result. You see, the concept of belief can only be masked by our feelings of doubt, and oftentimes in life, what we doubt is what we fear. But think about this: If we do not possess doubt, then how can we truly say we possess faith? Belief is ascertained only by our ambitions to overlook doubt and fear and face the ‘impossible’ with an open and accepting mind that can bridge the gap between what we ‘see’ as the truth in a tangible sense and what we ‘envision’ in the distance as being unknown and fearful. Actual belief is about blind submission and being able to submerge yourself into the vigor of the ‘unknown’ with belief that what you want to happen is what is going to happen without having to actually see it. When we set aside our fears, we can begin to really discover ourselves and learn to ‘see’ our future without doubt to hold us back. We can move forward with our eyes always on that light at the end of the tunnel and our gaze can continue to be fixated without feeling the need to look over our shoulders and lose sight. When we ‘see’ in the distance our belief in our dreams and how our ideal life looks, we suddenly have grasped a control aspect to our lives that we hadn’t had prior to these ‘impossibilities’. Part of the reason so many people stop utilizing their imagination is because it diminishes their control over a situation. When you can’t physically see something with your own eyes, it is difficult to voucher for its existence in real time and it makes us feel as if we aren’t secure. The truth of the matter, Faithful Reader, is that without our visions to guide us forward, we will always be at a standstill. We will never know what that next step looks like or feels like because we will be lacking faith in its existence and we will actually have LESS control over our situations.
As I drove home that fateful day, I had let Life take control of the wheel even though I was the one behind it. Having known I was going to make the ‘impossible’ happen in a couple months by moving to Las Vegas by myself, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with all the obstacles that life was throwing my way. As Life would have it, everything around me seemed to be ripping apart at the seams when it was supposed to be a time for me to embrace, enjoy and prepare myself for the changes that were to take place. As I was hit again HARD on this very day, my vision was completely fogged and the once transparent light up ahead was now shadowed by an opaque cloud of fear and doubt. Questions without answers swirled through my mind and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop shaking. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks… In that very moment in time, I realized how much I NEEDED to pull myself back together to make this work. My calling awaited me and the only thing stopping me from my destiny was ME. It wasn’t Life. It wasn’t these events. It wasn’t the ‘wall’ placed so strategically in front of my path. It was me. The deepest passion I had ever felt lied ahead of me a couple months away. What I desired more than anything else in the world was right at my fingertips… if I let it be. I just couldn’t give up as I was so close. If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that success can best be defined as learned failure, mistakes and setbacks. 99 out of 100 times, a person will ‘fail’, make a mistake, or have a setback in taking a risk. What most people can’t ‘imagine’, is that all it takes to reach your dreams is that ONE time. That one point when all the stars align and the pieces just fit together perfectly after ‘practicing’ for the other 99 times. If I can’t pull myself together, have confidence in myself and my life, and BELIEVE in my dreams, then how am I ever going to be effective at changing and having a positive impact on the lives of those around me as my entire career calls for? Doesn’t this revert back to the age-old saying of, “You can’t take care of someone else until you take care of yourself.”?
Right then, the fog began to dissipate and the light made itself just barely visible. Had I given into my disbelief, I may have never again found this light and I would have come to a standstill. The steps as I had previously envisioned would have ceased to exist and the platform my very feet touched would have crumbled with me on it. Faithful Reader, when you are in a profession dedicated to servicing others, you have to not only believe in your own endeavors, but you have to envision the final outcome of each client, patient and individual that walks through the doors to seek your advice, help, expertise and knowledge. Most of the people who we come in contact with aren’t going to believe in themselves to their full potential; They are going to rely on you to guide them in the right direction. They aren’t always going to know their full potential, because they have never reached it. The light at the end of the tunnel is going to be blurred and hard to follow for most individuals and they are going to need a second pair of eyes to help see them through. YOU are going to have to be their belief system, their second set of eyes and it is going to be your mission to help them ‘see’ and believe in the steps they can’t see for themselves. It is indeed a big responsibility, but it is absolutely not ‘impossible’ by any stretch of the word. If we can’t find it within ourselves to believe, how will we ever get those who seek our services to believe in us and to therefore believe in themselves? The answer is simple: We won’t. When you believe in something to the point where you can see the final outcome, it is much easier to invite others along for the ride. Let fear and doubt get in your way and not only will you be at a permanent standstill… but so will your clients. This journey and career path isn’t just about you, and this is something we always have to keep in the front of our minds and at an eyes distance away.
The times in life when belief is the hardest, it is of vital importance to look past the fog and know that regardless of how thick the wall is in front of you, the light is still shining. ‘See’ with your mind despite where life directs you as your eyes can only see as far as your mind can fathom… Sometimes it’s NOT seeing that’s believing.
Until next time, Faithful Reader…
"All great masters are chiefly distinguished by the power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line. Many a man has taken the first step. With every additional step you enhance immensely the value of your first." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. "Here comes number seventy-one!" -Richard M. Devos
"Before success comes in any man's life he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do." -Napoleon Hill
"What we do not see, what most of us never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement." -Napoleon Hill
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” –Marcus Aurilius
“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there.” –Norman Vincent Peale
Originally from Erie County, Pennsylvania and residing in a small town called Waterford, I was always a little girl with a big imagination and even bigger dreams. So big, in fact, that even I didn’t always take them seriously. Growing up modestly without many material items, imagination was the key to cure boredom and it was where I returned to on a daily basis. When friends would come over, we wouldn’t just simply play with toys and technology like most kids do nowadays, but we would be in the woods conveniently surrounding my house building castles with motes and living lavishly amongst the fantasy world we would create and believe in. We would ‘cook’ gourmet food, our careers were (obviously) no less than six figures, and most of the time even that wasn’t even an issue as anything we wanted we were able to create right before our very eyes. We would cruise around in our vehicles that never needed repaired (or gas!) and our houses were massive, always clean, and mortgage free. I grew up with the mentality that nothing was impossible because, for me, imagination had shown me that nothing WAS on the realm of ‘impossible’. I had lived each day vicariously in a different career doing whatever I desired at that moment in time, and the truth of it is that after a while, I really started to believe those things. My imagination took on a life of its own and I didn’t even understand the concept of ‘impossibilities’. As far as I knew, I didn’t have much, but at the same time, I was rich with everything I could possibly ever dream of (and dream I did!).
It seems strange to me that as the years pass and we are exposed to more and more people and more and more situations, our need for ‘safety’ increases and our emotions begin to get in the way of our belief system we have within ourselves. We become so easily influenced by those people and situations, that over time we actually believe these negative thoughts and we become worn down and pushed into fear of progressing into what is now known not as ‘imagination… but as ‘the unknown’.
Growing up myself, I didn’t have a lot, but I CREATED a lot. If I didn’t physically own something or if I wasn’t physically able to do something right at that moment (like… say… fly away), my mind would create the right conditions to make these endeavors completely viable and possible in my life. And each day I would find a way to make this happen. We all did. When we were lonely, we brought to life dolls, figurines, action figures, and tons of inanimate objects that probably made absolutely no sense to have ‘alive’. Although creating a friend out of thin air is not quite conducent to life as you get older, it doesn’t deter from the fact that most of us are guilty of lacking imagination and belief in what we may not be able to actually see before our eyes. Seeing tends to be where we find our belief, and we let our horizons end at an eye’s distance. This is explained perfectly in a quote made by Paul Chek: “The eyes only see what the mind knows.” I mean… read this over again a couple time and really digest what this is saying. Examine the truth exemplified in this simply complex statement. Now… Return to childhood when you actually could SEE the palace you created outside out of a few trees, some rocks, and the creek (aka: ‘mote’) in your backyard. Remember how transient time was and how we truly had no perception of ‘impossibility’. Anything was possible and everything WAS possible because we not only thought about what we wanted to do with our time and our lives, but we BELIEVED in it. We made all things possible not because we had to see them with our own eyes, but because our mind saw the final result. You see, the concept of belief can only be masked by our feelings of doubt, and oftentimes in life, what we doubt is what we fear. But think about this: If we do not possess doubt, then how can we truly say we possess faith? Belief is ascertained only by our ambitions to overlook doubt and fear and face the ‘impossible’ with an open and accepting mind that can bridge the gap between what we ‘see’ as the truth in a tangible sense and what we ‘envision’ in the distance as being unknown and fearful. Actual belief is about blind submission and being able to submerge yourself into the vigor of the ‘unknown’ with belief that what you want to happen is what is going to happen without having to actually see it. When we set aside our fears, we can begin to really discover ourselves and learn to ‘see’ our future without doubt to hold us back. We can move forward with our eyes always on that light at the end of the tunnel and our gaze can continue to be fixated without feeling the need to look over our shoulders and lose sight. When we ‘see’ in the distance our belief in our dreams and how our ideal life looks, we suddenly have grasped a control aspect to our lives that we hadn’t had prior to these ‘impossibilities’. Part of the reason so many people stop utilizing their imagination is because it diminishes their control over a situation. When you can’t physically see something with your own eyes, it is difficult to voucher for its existence in real time and it makes us feel as if we aren’t secure. The truth of the matter, Faithful Reader, is that without our visions to guide us forward, we will always be at a standstill. We will never know what that next step looks like or feels like because we will be lacking faith in its existence and we will actually have LESS control over our situations.
As I drove home that fateful day, I had let Life take control of the wheel even though I was the one behind it. Having known I was going to make the ‘impossible’ happen in a couple months by moving to Las Vegas by myself, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with all the obstacles that life was throwing my way. As Life would have it, everything around me seemed to be ripping apart at the seams when it was supposed to be a time for me to embrace, enjoy and prepare myself for the changes that were to take place. As I was hit again HARD on this very day, my vision was completely fogged and the once transparent light up ahead was now shadowed by an opaque cloud of fear and doubt. Questions without answers swirled through my mind and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop shaking. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks… In that very moment in time, I realized how much I NEEDED to pull myself back together to make this work. My calling awaited me and the only thing stopping me from my destiny was ME. It wasn’t Life. It wasn’t these events. It wasn’t the ‘wall’ placed so strategically in front of my path. It was me. The deepest passion I had ever felt lied ahead of me a couple months away. What I desired more than anything else in the world was right at my fingertips… if I let it be. I just couldn’t give up as I was so close. If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that success can best be defined as learned failure, mistakes and setbacks. 99 out of 100 times, a person will ‘fail’, make a mistake, or have a setback in taking a risk. What most people can’t ‘imagine’, is that all it takes to reach your dreams is that ONE time. That one point when all the stars align and the pieces just fit together perfectly after ‘practicing’ for the other 99 times. If I can’t pull myself together, have confidence in myself and my life, and BELIEVE in my dreams, then how am I ever going to be effective at changing and having a positive impact on the lives of those around me as my entire career calls for? Doesn’t this revert back to the age-old saying of, “You can’t take care of someone else until you take care of yourself.”?
Right then, the fog began to dissipate and the light made itself just barely visible. Had I given into my disbelief, I may have never again found this light and I would have come to a standstill. The steps as I had previously envisioned would have ceased to exist and the platform my very feet touched would have crumbled with me on it. Faithful Reader, when you are in a profession dedicated to servicing others, you have to not only believe in your own endeavors, but you have to envision the final outcome of each client, patient and individual that walks through the doors to seek your advice, help, expertise and knowledge. Most of the people who we come in contact with aren’t going to believe in themselves to their full potential; They are going to rely on you to guide them in the right direction. They aren’t always going to know their full potential, because they have never reached it. The light at the end of the tunnel is going to be blurred and hard to follow for most individuals and they are going to need a second pair of eyes to help see them through. YOU are going to have to be their belief system, their second set of eyes and it is going to be your mission to help them ‘see’ and believe in the steps they can’t see for themselves. It is indeed a big responsibility, but it is absolutely not ‘impossible’ by any stretch of the word. If we can’t find it within ourselves to believe, how will we ever get those who seek our services to believe in us and to therefore believe in themselves? The answer is simple: We won’t. When you believe in something to the point where you can see the final outcome, it is much easier to invite others along for the ride. Let fear and doubt get in your way and not only will you be at a permanent standstill… but so will your clients. This journey and career path isn’t just about you, and this is something we always have to keep in the front of our minds and at an eyes distance away.
The times in life when belief is the hardest, it is of vital importance to look past the fog and know that regardless of how thick the wall is in front of you, the light is still shining. ‘See’ with your mind despite where life directs you as your eyes can only see as far as your mind can fathom… Sometimes it’s NOT seeing that’s believing.
Until next time, Faithful Reader…
"All great masters are chiefly distinguished by the power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line. Many a man has taken the first step. With every additional step you enhance immensely the value of your first." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. "Here comes number seventy-one!" -Richard M. Devos
"Before success comes in any man's life he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do." -Napoleon Hill
"What we do not see, what most of us never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement." -Napoleon Hill
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” –Marcus Aurilius
“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there.” –Norman Vincent Peale
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