Mirror, Mirror On the Wall...

“What is your favorite thing about yourself?”… Belief instills I am correct in assuming I caught you off-guard with that question. Why is it that we spend all day helping other people recognize the greatness within themselves (as health care providers), yet we rarely take the time to ask ourselves personally this same question?


While I was in school, I was really into an exercise psychology book that presented endless ways on how to appropriately approach clients and athletes on a mental level to help them achieve an optimal mindset for performance as well as everyday life. Within the pages of the book, there were numerous sample questionnaires to be filled out by the applicant that could help the trainer, coach, etc… get a better idea of where this person stands on a mental level. Curious, I decided it would be in my own best interest to take the questionnaires as it was part of my studies and something I should experience myself before ever implementing (not to mention I was kind of curious as well…). One of the questions I came across was the question, “What is your favorite thing about yourself?”. To my own surprise, I found myself stopped in my tracks as I actually had to think of what the answer might be! “Well,” I thought, “I guess I kind of like my eyelashes, but as my favorite?... And then I sort of like my skin tone and complexion, but not with all these summer tan lines and that one zit that won’t seem to go away… but WAIT… Do I maybe have a decent physique?... Maybe, but I’m not where I’d like to be.” Sigh…. Why was this so difficult?


Weirdly enough (and I’m sure you have heard it all before), we are our own worst critics. Because we get to spend 24 hours a day with and in our bodies, we get to know every single ‘flaw’, every single ‘imperfection’, and every single thing that could be made better ‘If only…”. We are competitive by human nature and evolution created us to aspire to be a better mate than the person standing next to us. The truly ironic part is that no matter how much we want to be the person standing next to us or on that magazine cover, this opportunity will never arise. We will never be somebody else and we should never want to. Each person has their own individual characteristics of which makes them stand out and special. Each person has their own quirks, their own room for improvements. If we were all the same or if we all spent our lives trying to be someone else, we would never truly be recognized for our own unique qualities, talents, personalities and looks.


One of my best friends and my co-worker, Kristina Lindquist, made a comment one day at our Health Profile Institute Certification Course that really resonated with me deeply and I never forgot it. She expressed that one of the first things she asks a new client isn’t “What are you trying to improve?”, or “What is it you are unhappy with?”, but she asks the question of, “What do you love most about yourself?”. I found this interesting and could completely resound with why this question could possibly be extremely meaningful in a first exchange with a new client. Think about it; We already spend so much time critiquing and criticizing ourselves for our flaws, for our blemishes, for all the things that make us unique. Rarely does a person spend time relishing the things that they love or picking out the certain characteristics about themselves that are positive attributes. As a trainer myself, I found this deeply regarding as personal training in general is based on self-improvement and in really channeling into the things the client wants and needs to improve mentally, physically, emotionally and (sometimes) spiritually. Oftentimes, we face extreme circumstances of clients who are physically disabled, overweight, mentally broken down and/or stressed, on loads of medication, diseased, and just overall not where they want to be physically and/or mentally. If they were completely satisfied with themselves, they wouldn’t be seeking US for help. With that said, we already can assume there are things the client is unhappy with. Of course, you want to find this out as well as it is exactly what you need to know to design your program for them and how to work around their problem areas, however, think about how beneficial it would ALSO be to know what the client liked about him/herself. You would always have that positive feedback to revert back to and embellish upon with and for the client, and by getting them to admit something they are happy about, they can learn to recognize and be proud of their positive attributes and the things that make them special and really start getting acclimated to positive reinforcement. Understand again: Your clients aren’t coming to you because they are satisfied. They want and need you to help them make the life changes that they aren’t happy about and that they feel need improvement. They don’t call it ‘Personal’ Training for nothing. The journey our clients are on can be tremendously overwhelming and emotional, and when we work for hours each week with the people who seek our expertise, we need to help them embrace both the good and the bad. We need to encourage them and let them know they are special. We need to point out both the bad AND the good and help them to see the glass as half full so they can keep pressing forward no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. We need to motivate and coach them through the execution of their entire session, and we need to believe in them and get them to believe in themselves. You are their inspiration!


I see it all the time in those ‘trainers’ who have no business being in this type of industry. They neglect the mental component and aspect of training. Fitness, health and wellness is a universal, personal and emotional thing for all of us, and it is something that everyone in the world can relate to regardless of race, age, gender, religion, etc. Try this on for size… What is the one and only event held in the world where the entire GLOBAL POPULATION gets together to participate in and watch as ONE? The Olympics! Coincidence? I think not. It is the sole event where the entire world can forget about war, prejudism, terrorism, etc., and just be together. Pretty remarkable, huh? Let’s not take this for granted when we are training clients, and let’s realize they are on a remarkable journey themselves and that that journey is and is going to be emotional, life-changing, and unforgettable. And YOU are the one who they have chosen to be by their side throughout the duration of this journey. To help them to see themselves in a positive light and enforce and encourage them to believe in themselves.

So, let’s work on this together. I challenge you, Faithful Reader, to open up a notebook and list everything you love about yourself. And do this with all things aside. This is your own journey and self discovery and we also need some positive reinforcement once and a while to keep us going. Don’t be surprised by your modesty and embrace what it is that makes you special as an individual. Be able to look in the mirror each day and love the things that make you who you are. Feel and become familiar with your own emotions and keep them close with you during each session. Create the example you wish for others to follow.


Reverting back to that fateful day in school… Taking a deep breath, I hesitated as the tip of my pencil hovered over the spaces where my words were supposed to be encrypted. I thought to myself, “You know what, Emma? How is your confidence going to be convincing to those around you if you aren’t even convinced yourself?” So, right then and there, I didn’t just write the one thing I loved most, but I threw in the towel and created a whole LIST. As I wrote, I realized that even my ‘imperfections’ gave me character. The scar on my left knee cap that never went away after I fell off my bike in kindergarten… Hey! I completely forgot about that story! I realized that even the things I considered to be ‘flawed’, were actually reminders of things that made me who I am today, and they also prompted me to remember that I am still on a journey just like the people I train. Although our journeys may have different goals and stories behind them, we are all still together in the journey toward self-improvement (Whatever that may entail for each person on an individual basis).


Embracing what we love is just as, if not more, important than stating and recognizing what we don’t. On our journey to help others bask in this light, keep the list you created close to your heart and refer to it during each of the hours you dedicate to helping another person. The environment you work in and live is a direct reflection of your own attitude and expectations… Let the mirror do all the talking for you.



Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly distorts and discolors the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it.” –Francis Bacon, Sr


“It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.” -Author Unknown


“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.” -Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


“I've spent most of my life walking under that hovering cloud, jealousy, whose acid raindrops blurred my vision and burned holes in my heart. Once I learned to use the umbrella of confidence, the skies cleared up for me and the sunshine called joy became my faithful companion.” -Astrid Alauda