Monday, November 2, 2009

"Optical Illusions"

The drive home was a blurry one. Gripping the steering wheel so tightly, I struggled to choke back tears as my faith and belief began to wither away. My world as I knew it was crumbling and the biggest challenge of my life was confronting me head-on.


Originally from Erie County, Pennsylvania and residing in a small town called Waterford, I was always a little girl with a big imagination and even bigger dreams. So big, in fact, that even I didn’t always take them seriously. Growing up modestly without many material items, imagination was the key to cure boredom and it was where I returned to on a daily basis. When friends would come over, we wouldn’t just simply play with toys and technology like most kids do nowadays, but we would be in the woods conveniently surrounding my house building castles with motes and living lavishly amongst the fantasy world we would create and believe in. We would ‘cook’ gourmet food, our careers were (obviously) no less than six figures, and most of the time even that wasn’t even an issue as anything we wanted we were able to create right before our very eyes. We would cruise around in our vehicles that never needed repaired (or gas!) and our houses were massive, always clean, and mortgage free. I grew up with the mentality that nothing was impossible because, for me, imagination had shown me that nothing WAS on the realm of ‘impossible’. I had lived each day vicariously in a different career doing whatever I desired at that moment in time, and the truth of it is that after a while, I really started to believe those things. My imagination took on a life of its own and I didn’t even understand the concept of ‘impossibilities’. As far as I knew, I didn’t have much, but at the same time, I was rich with everything I could possibly ever dream of (and dream I did!).


It seems strange to me that as the years pass and we are exposed to more and more people and more and more situations, our need for ‘safety’ increases and our emotions begin to get in the way of our belief system we have within ourselves. We become so easily influenced by those people and situations, that over time we actually believe these negative thoughts and we become worn down and pushed into fear of progressing into what is now known not as ‘imagination… but as ‘the unknown’.



Growing up myself, I didn’t have a lot, but I CREATED a lot. If I didn’t physically own something or if I wasn’t physically able to do something right at that moment (like… say… fly away), my mind would create the right conditions to make these endeavors completely viable and possible in my life. And each day I would find a way to make this happen. We all did. When we were lonely, we brought to life dolls, figurines, action figures, and tons of inanimate objects that probably made absolutely no sense to have ‘alive’. Although creating a friend out of thin air is not quite conducent to life as you get older, it doesn’t deter from the fact that most of us are guilty of lacking imagination and belief in what we may not be able to actually see before our eyes. Seeing tends to be where we find our belief, and we let our horizons end at an eye’s distance. This is explained perfectly in a quote made by Paul Chek: “The eyes only see what the mind knows.” I mean… read this over again a couple time and really digest what this is saying. Examine the truth exemplified in this simply complex statement. Now… Return to childhood when you actually could SEE the palace you created outside out of a few trees, some rocks, and the creek (aka: ‘mote’) in your backyard. Remember how transient time was and how we truly had no perception of ‘impossibility’. Anything was possible and everything WAS possible because we not only thought about what we wanted to do with our time and our lives, but we BELIEVED in it. We made all things possible not because we had to see them with our own eyes, but because our mind saw the final result. You see, the concept of belief can only be masked by our feelings of doubt, and oftentimes in life, what we doubt is what we fear. But think about this: If we do not possess doubt, then how can we truly say we possess faith? Belief is ascertained only by our ambitions to overlook doubt and fear and face the ‘impossible’ with an open and accepting mind that can bridge the gap between what we ‘see’ as the truth in a tangible sense and what we ‘envision’ in the distance as being unknown and fearful. Actual belief is about blind submission and being able to submerge yourself into the vigor of the ‘unknown’ with belief that what you want to happen is what is going to happen without having to actually see it. When we set aside our fears, we can begin to really discover ourselves and learn to ‘see’ our future without doubt to hold us back. We can move forward with our eyes always on that light at the end of the tunnel and our gaze can continue to be fixated without feeling the need to look over our shoulders and lose sight. When we ‘see’ in the distance our belief in our dreams and how our ideal life looks, we suddenly have grasped a control aspect to our lives that we hadn’t had prior to these ‘impossibilities’. Part of the reason so many people stop utilizing their imagination is because it diminishes their control over a situation. When you can’t physically see something with your own eyes, it is difficult to voucher for its existence in real time and it makes us feel as if we aren’t secure. The truth of the matter, Faithful Reader, is that without our visions to guide us forward, we will always be at a standstill. We will never know what that next step looks like or feels like because we will be lacking faith in its existence and we will actually have LESS control over our situations.


As I drove home that fateful day, I had let Life take control of the wheel even though I was the one behind it. Having known I was going to make the ‘impossible’ happen in a couple months by moving to Las Vegas by myself, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with all the obstacles that life was throwing my way. As Life would have it, everything around me seemed to be ripping apart at the seams when it was supposed to be a time for me to embrace, enjoy and prepare myself for the changes that were to take place. As I was hit again HARD on this very day, my vision was completely fogged and the once transparent light up ahead was now shadowed by an opaque cloud of fear and doubt. Questions without answers swirled through my mind and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop shaking. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks… In that very moment in time, I realized how much I NEEDED to pull myself back together to make this work. My calling awaited me and the only thing stopping me from my destiny was ME. It wasn’t Life. It wasn’t these events. It wasn’t the ‘wall’ placed so strategically in front of my path. It was me. The deepest passion I had ever felt lied ahead of me a couple months away. What I desired more than anything else in the world was right at my fingertips… if I let it be. I just couldn’t give up as I was so close. If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that success can best be defined as learned failure, mistakes and setbacks. 99 out of 100 times, a person will ‘fail’, make a mistake, or have a setback in taking a risk. What most people can’t ‘imagine’, is that all it takes to reach your dreams is that ONE time. That one point when all the stars align and the pieces just fit together perfectly after ‘practicing’ for the other 99 times. If I can’t pull myself together, have confidence in myself and my life, and BELIEVE in my dreams, then how am I ever going to be effective at changing and having a positive impact on the lives of those around me as my entire career calls for? Doesn’t this revert back to the age-old saying of, “You can’t take care of someone else until you take care of yourself.”?


Right then, the fog began to dissipate and the light made itself just barely visible. Had I given into my disbelief, I may have never again found this light and I would have come to a standstill. The steps as I had previously envisioned would have ceased to exist and the platform my very feet touched would have crumbled with me on it. Faithful Reader, when you are in a profession dedicated to servicing others, you have to not only believe in your own endeavors, but you have to envision the final outcome of each client, patient and individual that walks through the doors to seek your advice, help, expertise and knowledge. Most of the people who we come in contact with aren’t going to believe in themselves to their full potential; They are going to rely on you to guide them in the right direction. They aren’t always going to know their full potential, because they have never reached it. The light at the end of the tunnel is going to be blurred and hard to follow for most individuals and they are going to need a second pair of eyes to help see them through. YOU are going to have to be their belief system, their second set of eyes and it is going to be your mission to help them ‘see’ and believe in the steps they can’t see for themselves. It is indeed a big responsibility, but it is absolutely not ‘impossible’ by any stretch of the word. If we can’t find it within ourselves to believe, how will we ever get those who seek our services to believe in us and to therefore believe in themselves? The answer is simple: We won’t. When you believe in something to the point where you can see the final outcome, it is much easier to invite others along for the ride. Let fear and doubt get in your way and not only will you be at a permanent standstill… but so will your clients. This journey and career path isn’t just about you, and this is something we always have to keep in the front of our minds and at an eyes distance away.


The times in life when belief is the hardest, it is of vital importance to look past the fog and know that regardless of how thick the wall is in front of you, the light is still shining. ‘See’ with your mind despite where life directs you as your eyes can only see as far as your mind can fathom… Sometimes it’s NOT seeing that’s believing.


Until next time, Faithful Reader…


"All great masters are chiefly distinguished by the power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line. Many a man has taken the first step. With every additional step you enhance immensely the value of your first." -Ralph Waldo Emerson


"If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. "Here comes number seventy-one!" -Richard M. Devos


"Before success comes in any man's life he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do." -Napoleon Hill



"What we do not see, what most of us never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement." -Napoleon Hill


“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” –Marcus Aurilius


“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there.” –Norman Vincent Peale

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