Meet 'Courage'

Courageousness: n- The quality of mind enabling one to face danger or hardship resolutely… How is it that some of the most ‘ordinary’ people are capable of conquering and triumphing over some of the most unordinary and inconceivable feats and occurrences the rest of us couldn’t even begin to fathom? What can we learn from those who do and have possessed insurmountable courage?


Being in the healthcare industry is humbling in too many ways to count or to begin expressing. Each day, the mission of a healthcare provider is, essentially, to help others find their ‘epiphany’ which will lead them to be successful both in and out of the gym. But what about the people who don’t necessarily have the option of making a change? Or what about those who enter knowingly into a field or career knowing they are up against the life and death of both themselves and those they serve? This is something I have really come to embrace and recognize because all around us and throughout the world, people are fighting battles they will or may never win without a miracle. These people live and breathe courage every minute of their lives because they know that at any given moment in time, everything as they know it could be gone. They realize how precious life is and how it should never be taken for granted because tomorrow is never a guarantee. For some people, just waking up and having the opportunity to see the sun shining is the greatest miracle they could ever hope for. Meet “Courage”….


Having been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in high school that only inflicts a few hundred individuals a year, my 21 year-old cousin, Robbie, truly was the definition of ‘courage’. Spending his high school years and beyond fighting a never-ending battle with Rhabdomyosarcoma, Robbie was always, always one to divert any and all attention elsewhere. With a constant smile and an always positive outlook on his situation, you would seriously never have guessed from the outside all the damage and pain he was experiencing on the inside. Although in and out of the hospital and Doctor’s office for years of constant treatments, chemotherapy and every other possible procedure you could imagine, Robbie always jumped right back into life full force and never made you feel at will to feel sympathy for him. Working back home at the gym I was employed at, when he would walk in, the smile that illuminated on his face was so infectious that you couldn’t help but to feel on top of the world with him. Being around him was almost the opposite of what you’d expect from a cancer patient. He did absolutely EVERYTHING any ‘normal’ kid would do and never took for granted a single moment of his life. Instead of feeling bad for him, you almost couldn’t help but to feel bad for all those who weren’t enjoying life as much as Robbie did. He fought for life against all odds, and although he lost his battle just last week, he is someone I will look up to and admire Robbie for the rest of my life for having the physical strength and the positive mental capacity to live life like there was no tomorrow and to show the world how courageous he could be through such dire circumstances. People like Robbie come few and far between, but when you meet them… you are never the same. “Pride in being a nice guy since 1988.” (–Robbie’s default quote on Facebook)


My best friend growing up and throughout life, Cleveland (yes… he always caught a lot of flack for his name!), was the absolute most positive person I have ever met before. You would never guess that he lived each day in an extremely broken home where he almost daily suffered through abuse, poverty, and very little love and support. Talking to him was always such a positive experience, and his ability to relate to people was just outstanding. Never, ever did he project his problems onto anyone, and he always started every conversation wanting to know about how the other person was doing. People gravitated toward him like bees to honey and his energy could instantly snap you out of any negative moods. When I was younger, it was Cleveland who heard me humming a song and who encouraged me to sing it out loud. Being one of the most talented musicians imaginable, Cleveland found his happiness through his relationships with his friends and through music. Without him, I would have never found my own voice and it was he who was my inspiration to pursue music so heavily when growing up. I used to sing for hours and hours over the phone with and for him and he always supported me through anything I wanted to engage in. Nothing was ever too big for Cleveland and no matter how bad things were in his life, his courage always led him in directions typically opposite of most other people in his situation. To begin a new life for himself, he decided to courageously up and move to Colorado where he received an amazing career opportunity to head and revive the music department at a school where it had been suffering for years. He wanted so badly to escape the life that was destined for him, to live his dream and to defeat all the odds placed against him his entire life. He received his wish as his life only enhanced from that point forward. His next courageous step came in his decision to receive gastric bypass surgery to assist him in his weight-loss goals as he was a pretty hefty guy. After the surgery was over, he successfully lost over 100lbs (and counting!), and was working so hard to reach the goals he had set for himself. Upon my own decision to move to Las Vegas, Cleveland and I had planned on seeing each other as often as possible and he was still right by my side being one of my biggest supporters throughout that challenging time in my life. I was always amazed at how much he constantly ‘gave’, and how much he truly loved me for me, day after day, year after year, come rain or come shine. Right before my move, he had to go back into surgery for another gastrointestinal procedure and I was just beside myself with how far he had come in his journey, and how he never failed to be right there beside me during my own endeavors. During this second and less intense procedure, Cleveland tragically and devastatingly suffered a massive heart attack and didn’t make it through the surgery. Although I lost someone very close and dear to my heart on that day, I am able to take what I was blessed to be given from him and use it to find my own courage in this life and to ‘give’ to others what he never failed to give me. It truly goes to show that the cycle of ‘giving’ really does go full circle, and that even through loss we can find inspiration and courage, in turn, share it with others.


Back home in PA, I spent four years working for a gym that had grown and developed into a home away from home ever since I was little. During this time, I met so many amazing and courageous people who helped shape me into the person I am today and who helped guide me down my chosen path and career field as a personal trainer. Inspiration can sometimes be rare to find, but it’s always impossible to miss. My great friend, Dan, is one of these people who you just couldn’t miss. Not because he is paralyzed and in a wheelchair, but because he always wears a smile despite his disabilities and is one of the most delightful people you could ever hope to know in your lifetime. Having dove out of a tree at the age of 13 into shallow water appearing deep, Dan has spent the majority of his life wheelchair-bound without a chance or guarantee for full or any recovery. The irony of it all is that even in his disposition, he always seems happier than most everyone else around him and he speaks with such a positive demeanor that always rubs off on all those around him. In the years I have known Dan, he indirectly taught me so much about life and about never taking things for granted. Regardless of what life brought his way, he was always, always at the gym every Tuesday and Thursday morning and for a while before I moved, I had the great opportunity of training him on those days I was working. In and out of the hospital continuously due to the other conditions Dan’s immune system just couldn’t always fight off, I remember visiting him while he was in a coma on life-support and just feeling so upset that life could be so cruel to someone so incredible. When you have the honor of knowing someone like Dan, your perceptions, ‘realities’ and life change forever. Although I am 3,000 miles away, I think of Dan all the time. When I think I’m having a bad day, or if I let something get to me, my mind always, always reverts back to Dan and how hard he fights everyday just to stay alive and wake up the next day. I think of all the challenges he has faced and continues to battle through each day. I think about it because the truth is… I truly don’t know if I could ever be as courageous as Dan. I literally can’t even begin to imagine how different and challenging life would be in his shoes. There are people ALL over the world who have it SO much worse than me at any point in time when I could say I’m at my ‘worst’. A ‘bad’ day for me is a day someone like Dan would give anything in this world to experience. I have no business frowning if he can always find a way to smile. Without knowing it, knowing Dan has influenced me to be a better person and to never take life for granted. He literally lives FOR the day, and I think it’s a lesson we should all learn from and apply to our own lives. When I hear people complain about having a leaky faucet at home, breaking their watch, being too tired, needing a car repair, etc… I can’t help but wonder why if THIS is the worst of their ‘problems’, why aren’t they smiling?!... Maybe they have just never met someone like Dan.


The act of courage doesn’t always have to come directly from the people suffering through debilitating situations either. I see courage everyday, all around me in a positive light as well. Take my three friends, Leanne Nester, Jeremiah Carroll, and Martina Montgomery. Leanne is currently going through invasive training to become a Las Vegas Paramedic and is also working hard towards entering the Las Vegas Fire Department, Jeremiah was one of just 120 out of 1,500 applicants here in Vegas just accepted into the Fire Department, and Martina formerly served as one of the only females in the Las Vegas Police Department. Talking with Jeremiah the other day about his daily schedule and the absolute insanity he is dedicated to each day in his training, watching Leanne travel from training to work, to training to work, to work, and BACK to training each and everyday with little or no rest, and having discussions with Martina on what she had to go through just to get ON the LVPD, and what she was forced to handle on a daily basis, I can’t help but to just bow down in awe and admiration of the people who devote (and oftentimes volunteer) their time and lives to helping prevent tragedy, see people and situations at their absolute worst, and put their own lives at stake in lieu of saving or protecting another life. The same can also be said of many other professions as well such as the many, many, many friends and family of mine (and yours) who have served our country in all the different branches of the military and who put their lives on the line for us each and everyday. Although the stories that result from the people in these professions are heavily glorified and taken note of continuously through the news, media, community and even from some of their own personal experiences, I truly think that the individual people behind these acts of courage aren’t always appreciated enough for what they do. Although we are aware of these people and we hear about them, more often than not, it is the situation or people they save or protect that we hear about first and foremost. This is their career. This is their life. And even when we do hear about the hero behind the act, what we are sometimes jaded from and what I believe we take for granted is the fact that these individuals are literally miracle-workers. They go to work each day prepared to face situations the rest of us can’t even begin to fathom and each day they play guardian angel to families, communities, countries, and to the world. The courage these individuals unknowingly possess impresses me to no end as it truly takes a special person to have the desire and the mental and physical ability to face these situations head-on everyday. In being around people like Leanne, Jeremiah and Martina, I have grown so aware of the big and little courageous things people are doing each day for us that we may not think twice about. I also apply it to my own life and career in knowing that each person that walks into my life seeking my help has a fear of something. That each person in GENERAL is afraid of something. That part of my job is to take that person’s fear and help them find the courage to overcome it. It’s a quality we all possess and are able to do, but it is also a quality we have to be reminded about on occasion and sometimes nagged about.


These are only a couple of the many, many examples of courage that have influenced me to be the person I am today and of the billions of stories we could spend a lifetime talking about. There is something to learn from each person’s courage and no matter how glum the situation, there is always something beautiful and inspirational that will always emerge from it in time. Maybe not this instant. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not in a year. But eventually. As healthcare providers, we mustn’t ever forget to try and find the beauty that lies within the people who look to us for the courage to help them find their own. Each person will and does have a story. Each person has lived. Has lost. Has seen devastation. Tragedy. Has fought a battle and won. Has lost. These individuals possess more courage than we know for walking through our doors as for most of them, this experience alone can be terrifying and may have taken a significant amount of time to work up to.


We must approach each day like it’s our last and know we may not always win. The obstacles that Life burdens us with are in direct proportion to our strength and we must realize that we will never be thrown a ball that’s too heavy for us to catch. Appreciate all that’s around you and the next time you feel like complaining… smile.


Until next time, Faithful Reader…


“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” –August Wilson


“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” –Mark Victor Hansen


“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt


“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.” –Earl Wilson


(Rest in peace, Robbie and Cleveland. I will always love you.)